It’s that time of year again! Love is in the air and it’s almost Valentine’s Day…not that you care or anything because you’re single and too cool for V-Day. But don’t worry, Valentine’s Day is a dumb ass holiday and The Black Sheep staff have come up with some things you can do in Como to keep yourself busy and your mind off of how much you hate your life right now.
5.) Harpo’s $2 Tuesdays:
You know what fixes being lonely? Booze. And lucky for you, Harpo’s has $2 Tuesdays! Booze is the warm hug no one can give. Booze is the perfect excuse for crying in public and making a fool out of yourself. So go get turnt tf up and scream “Dancing On My Own” until you get thrown out. It will be a fun story to tell your children one day.
4.) Strip Clubs:
Since you have nobody to love, your wallet is p h a t. You aren’t the only one who’s lonely on this Valentine’s Day, the ladies down at Club Vogue or Rumors are stripping through their tears, so go give them some love. Tuck some bills into their bras and who knows, you might even go home with one. It won’t be such a lonely night if you can be lonely together.
3.) Walk around downtown yelling at happy couples:
If you aren’t happy then no one can be happy! Go downtown and tell every couple they are disgusting and going to hell to make yourself feel better. Fuck them, right? Stupid holding hands and kissing on the sidewalk. How rude of them to be happy and show it to the world while you are here downtown trying to live your life and get some India’s House.
2.) Curl up at home with wine:
Don’t even bother trying to muster up the courage to go to Harpo’s, that shit is too much. Just grab a bottle of wine, or five, stay at home and drink your perpetual loneliness away. Hy-Vee usually has some bomb deals on wine and spirits, so you should check it out. Then, just watch a bunch of romantic comedies, take out a pen and a notebook, and take notes on how to have a balance of fun, flirty and awkward. Guys will be linnnnniiing up after you figure it out. Don’t give up hope just yet.
1.) Cry it out:
Sometimes the best way to get through something is to cry it out. Maybe you should just do that, it seems easiest. You could even combine curling up at home with wine and crying. It’s an activity that will cleanse you and make you feel better and ready to take on the new day! Or you can check out the 8 Places To Eat Alone At Mizzou and kill two birds with one stone, eating your feelings while sulking in your loneliness. Until Valentine’s Day next year.
Just because you’re a lone star this year, doesn’t mean you always will be! You will have your chance at happiness, eventually….hopefully. If not, you can always go through this list of things and hey you might actually meet your one and only.
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