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7 Offerings Mizzou Construction Workers Want From Students

Mizzou is currently under construction (a g a i n, STILL?). Roads are being blocked off that are convenient for students to use, and even the apartment shuttles have to maneuver around the makeshift roadblocks. It’s hard to see how beautiful our campus is because of the giant pimple Lowry Mall has become. We may be annoyed at the inconvenience, but think of all the hard work of these Mizzou construction workers. What can we offer them?

7.) Beer:
Who doesn’t love beer? They are working hard to make our campus look better and not collapse in on itself (more than it already has). You probably have 12 cases of 30 pack Nattys, you can spare one for a hard-working dude.

6.) Don’t stare:
It’s not a damn zoo…sure they are closed off in what look like pens in bright flashy uniforms, but they are definitely not animals to just stare at as you walk by. No need for the snaps either, they don’t want to be here just as much as we don’t want them here.

5.) Your patience:
They are going to be there until April, so you better get used to the sights and sounds of Lowry. Make friends with them, tell them a joke, make them laugh. Nothing’s worse than feeling like people hate you, don’t be a dick. Be patient or take a different route. God knows you probably need the exercise.

4.) More beer:
Get ‘em drunk, show ‘em a good time! Beer makes the world go round amirite? The more beer you give them, the more friends you’ll have, who doesn’t want friends? They are probably real chill guys who love to crack open cold ones with the boyz; be that boy. Who cares if it is a dry campus…

3.) Your compliments:
A compliment a day keeps smiles on faces and work ethics boomin’. Seriously though, they look pissed off all day, every day. They may need a little pick me up, just tell them they are doing a good job. Plus maybe it will get them to finish the shit faster.

2.) Free food:
Nothing makes people happier than free-fucking-food. Take your free food from Speaker’s Circle and give it to the guys, order them a pizza from the world’s best, Pizza Tree. They are just like us, grinding their way through the days, just wanting some free food. Dreaming of their next meal. Give them the best surprise they will ever receive.

1.) Get out of the way:
They have shit to do, and so do you. We get it, they are in our way and it’s annoying. But if you just mozy on over to wherever you’re headed, that’s not helping anyone. Move along, you have places to be, even if you don’t want to be there. They probably don’t want to be on our campus fixing our shit, but they are, so get out of the way and let them do it in peace.

Whether you like it or not, the construction guys are here to stay, for what seems like an eternity. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the soothing sounds of Bobcats and big-ass saws that make you cringe like nails on a chalkboard. It is IT season after all, right?

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