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BREAKING: MPJ Returning Only to Break Our Hearts in Three Months

Michael Porter Jr. has finally decided to return to the court today against Georgia after missing the pretty much the whole season (except those beautiful two minutes against Iowa State). This is just great, just fucking fantastic–Mizzou fans can finally get rid of those blue balls they’ve been having for MPJ all year, and get even more excited for a possible trip to the Big Dance.

Finally some good news for Mizzou fans, right? It’s all sunshines and rainbows in Columbia…until three months from now and MPJ is walking up the stage of the NBA Draft and we’re all crying here in CoMo. 

On the flip side, fans are about to fall in love again with MPJ, but that’s not going to bode well for morale when he inevitably breaks the hearts of thousands and declares for the NBA draft so he can get the money he’s been promised.

Anything other than a Final Four appearance will be a failure, and, for the rest of time, it’s always going to be, “Imagine if MPJ never got hurt and played the full season” or, “Imagine if MPJ stayed at Mizzou for another year.” Those thoughts are going to fucking kill some people, and some aren’t going to be able to recover from this heartbreak.

Yeah, it’s OK to be optimistic, but c’mon let’s be realistic here: why the fuck would he stay?  How the hell could an 18-year-old kid stay another year at SCHOOL when there is millions of dollars waiting for him?

On the bright side, at least Mizzou fans will be able to enjoy a few games with him before he forgets that he even went to Mizzou at all, even if it was just for a few games. 


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