We’ve all seen the crazies on our beloved Mizzou Class of 2019 Facebook group, who seem desperate (a little too desperate) to find a roomie, but have you ever just stopped to read the comments? Well look no further because your Black Sheep team has scoped out the best and need we say, boldest responses to those needy subleasers.
6.) Of course, the haters…:
Clearly the ones who don’t need a freaking roomie but feel the need to ruin the journey of looking for one for everyone else. Oh, you don’t like The Den, we’re sorry, but you can suck it because that’s where I live douche-hole. If only the subleaser had the balls to write back… what fun?
5.) The guy who’s trying to live with everybody:
Eww, watch out for the creeps who are commenting on not only one, but also several other desperate offers to find a roommate. Dude, you can’t want to live at Campus View, The Grove and The Domain (pick one!). If Mizzou students need a roommate that bad, they’ll settle for just about anyone (but prepare for the horror stories).
4.) Past-Roommate Salty Corrections:
Ha! Gotta love ex-roommates, right? They’re so sweet, lovely, charming even… spawns of Satan who really needed to get the hell out of your apartment, but look, they’re baaaaaaaack (with a vengeance). If they can’t be ‘the one’ then no one can, right? They will do everything in their power to not let Tommy Boy Jr. over there, sleep in their old room, so watch out.
3.) Friends claiming you’re actually hott:
Single and ready to mingle… or single and trying to gain a hot bangable roommate with hot bangable friends? Either way, no one’s going to turn down a roommate with a 6-pack (of Bud obviously).
2.) You can stay on my couch if you do my laundry:
The favor seeker, the one who just can’t find the motivation to do their own simple-living tasks, but offers you an alternative sleeping arrangement in exchange for help. Don’t do it. Please don’t do it.
1.) No Comment…:
You sound too desperate. Your post was too long. Your Facebook is creepy. These are all signs leading to the post with no reposts. If you want a roommate that bad, act like you don’t. Isn’t that how we play games these days, hard to get?
While there might be no help for you subleasers out there, everyone else living happily ever after with their besties is sure getting a kick out of your struggle. Don’t be ashamed though, we know college students are non-contract believing, mind-changing, poor individuals, but you really should have scoped out the lesser of the 3 evils, just poor.
What would YOUR parents say about Tinder?