In a stunning turn of events, Kendrick Lamar will be headlining a surprise performance sponsored by suspended fraternity Delta Upsilon. Amidst the Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) fake Lil Yachty show scandal, DU has decided to step their game up and bring King Kendrick to CoMo. In response to how they landed Kendrick to play their No Gas-sponsored event, an anonymous DU member said, “With power moves only. We have to get our name back out there, as this show is part of our ‘Make Delta Upsilon Frat Again’ campaign. It’ll be lit, bro.”
It’s common knowledge that Lamar’s new album DAMN. is pure fire, so precautions are being taken by Roxy’s staff to ensure their venue does not burn to the ground during live performances of tracks such as “DNA” and “HUMBLE”
“With Future and Migos being the opening acts of the show, the Columbia Fire Department will be close by all night in case of emergency,” the Roxy’s owner claims. “If the place happens to go up in flames, at least we’ve got the insurance money.”
We at The Black Sheep reached out to Kendrick himself in an exclusive interview conducted at the Penguin Piano Bar below Roxy’s, where Adele will perform the following night in an event sponsored by Kappa Alpha Order, better known as KA.
TBS: K. Dot, how does it feel to be performing in one of the best college towns in the country?
KL: It’s going to be a mesmerizing experience for everyone in attendance. The homie Schoolboy Q will be throwing out free blunts on stage. We missed 4/20 by one day, so the least we can do is give some complimentary chronic to the crowd.
TBS: For sure. Have you met any of the guys in Delta Upsilon yet?
Perfectly real, not fake tickets are being sold at Speaker’s Circle today. Get them while you can.
Like booze before noon? So do these guys…