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A Mizzou Tiger’s Full Schedule the Week Before SB 2017

While Mizzou students have been slaving away at our schoolwork (and darties), our closest friends at every other D1 school have already been living it up at The Hangout, South Padre or Cancun. But don’t drown yourself in tears of SB-envy after watching their Snapchats, read this article made especially for your pleasure and inspiration. Your Black Sheep squad has just the weekly schedule for you before all hell breaks loose next week.

7.) Sunday Night: FOMO:

Your last night to study and you’ve caught a case of FOMO. Don’t worry; no one’s really going to have a good time on a Sunday night anyway. Get your head in those books drama queen!

 6.) Monday:

It’s a sunny day for Mid-March and you’re nice and cheery. So you actually attend all your classes, stay on top of those assignments, and drown out the little devil in your head that’s begging you to start drinking tonight. Eh, you shotgun one beer before bed anyway. Practice makes perfect right? It’s only fair to prepare your liver for the week ahead.

 5.) Tuesday:

The worst part about Tuesday’s is the classes last an hour and 15 minutes… and if you made a dumb schedule, 3 hours. You don’t go. Unless there’s a test, you do not make yourself suffer through that bullshit. You’re almost a free person; do not imprison yourself in pointless busy work and monotone lectures that only make your IQ suffer. You treat yo self with a bottle of wine and a gourmet meal instead. And by gourmet, we mean ordering Gumby’s instead of Papa John’s.

 4.) Wednesday:

The days are starting to blend together now… you’ve already taken 2 exams (WTF were professors thinking?), and you’re about 2.5 seconds away from giving up. But hang in there, 4 shots down and dreaming of Thirsty Thursday… you make it to the next day.

 3.) Thursday:

Are you parched? Or are you just thirsty? We don’t care, and we know you don’t either. Make today your least treasured, and needless to say, memorable night of the week. 😉 Whether 10B, Big 12, Willie’s, Piano, or Fieldhouse is calling your name (with a bit of slur perhaps), you make the night count… by not remembering a damn thing about it.

 2.) Friday:

Hello world! Spring break has ~finally~ arrived bitches. There is no way you’ll be attending class, replying to endless discussion posts, or reading any annoying classmates emails about your next class project that’s not even due for another month. Sit back, relax, and take the road trip of your life with all your fam (real or fake). Do yourself a favor though, go ahead and delete Twitter, Facebook and Insta for the week. Snapchat is the only outlet you can trust yourself with, but even that is debatable. No need to betray your sober self with endless drunken spring break posts.

 1.) SATURDAY!:

“Party like a rock… party like a ROCKSTAR!!!” As Post Malone would say, “Congratulations.” You survived and made it to spring break 2017. Now, your friends who already ended their breaks are going to be jealous of yours!

 Whether you’re in it to win it this week with a little practice here and there or just waiting for it to be over so the real fun can begin, we’ve all got the same goal in mind; bring on SB ‘17. Although we hope to see you back the following week tigers, we won’t be surprised if we don’t. May the snaps stay lit, and the alcohol stay strong.

 

Like Booze Before Noon? So do these guys:

 

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