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5 Things We’re More Surprised About Than The Mizzou SAE Ban

It’s suspension season in Columbia, and Mizzou SAE got a fat old four-year suspension handed to them (or until the last idiot standing leaves). But really, who didn’t see this one coming? The Black Sheep can think of a few other things that actually surprised us.

5.) Women’s basketball team lost in the NCAA tourney 1st round:
We don’t think anyone saw the men’s team getting past Xavier in the second round, let alone Florida State, but the women losing to FGCU? Sheesh. The women’s team was good as fuck this year, and we should have gotten at least past the first round.

4.) Bill Nye was in CoMo:
That’s right, THE FUCKING SCIENCE GUY WAS HERE. The man literally got you through middle school science, was in Columbia, and gave a little talk to all the people who were lucky enough to get a ticket.

3.) Madison Pettis was in CoMo:
That’s right: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s very own daughter was in Columbia also. Apparently, a lot of celebrities have been hearing about Mizzou lately. The star of such films as The Game Plan and The Game Plan, she was probably here for MPJ, but still pretty shocking she would be in Missouri for any reason.

2.) Michael Porter didn’t win us a national championship:
If you are going to play with our emotions and play this whole “will he or won’t he” game with us the whole last month of the season, the least you could do is get us to the Final Four. That’s not asking for too much.

1.) MyHouse had TVs that actually worked:
MyHouse hosted a little watch party for the Mizzou game, and at first, they did have some power issues. After the first couple of minutes, it was pretty smooth after that. It was a bit scary at first not knowing if you were going to be able to watch it, but after seeing the game, you might have wished that the TVs hadn’t been working…

Notice to all remaining frats: There is still plenty of school year left, so don’t get caught slacking. So if you are going to haze, make sure you don’t get caught covering up the cameras…



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