After all those good home cooked meals you had over winter break, you might start believing in the dreaded Mizzou 22. Lucky for you, the MizzouRec has many different ways for you to workout and get those abs ready for spring break. We at The Black Sheep have come up with the perfect workout plan that everyone can use to get the body they want (not just saved on their camera roll).
6.) zouLIFE spa:
Of course, you can’t just dive into a full workout without a little relax time. Other workout plans might suggest stretching before you lift or run, but our workout plan suggests you clear those pores, pamper yourself and ease your mind first.
5.) The “racquetball” courts:
You will see a bunch of people using these courts incorrectly, playing some racquetball in these rooms. However, it is actually meant to be a room for you to practice your sweeping and mopping abilities. MizzouRec offers one of the top custodian-prep programs in the nation, with state of the art dirty rooms for you to sweep up. They also provide a broom for you, in case you forgot yours at home.
4.) This machine:
What appears to be a giant cheese grater, nobody knows the true function of this machine. What you probably do is lay flat on your back on the metal tray, reach up and grab the top handles, and just keep pulling on those until you feel tired. This should take between 5 minutes and 2 and a half hours to get desired results.
3.) The pool filler:
To really get those biceps and triceps working, MizzouRec offers a chance for you to fill the outdoor pool. This would be one of the more lengthy parts of the workout plan, but at least they have a hose for you to use at this station. Plus, you get to be outside in the beautiful 40-degree January weather.
2.) 10-45 minute rest:
After the pool has been filled and the rooms have been swept, you’ve worked up a decent sweat. Good news, because there just so happens to be about 10 beds that are in the perfect shape of a slice of cheesecake. Nothing says comfortable like a couch in the shape of a triangle (except for you fucking meatheads with huge shoulders and no legs).
1.) Study table:
When people are trying to have a study session, they don’t choose a coffee shop or Ellis Library. No, the obvious choice is the main entrance of the MizzouRec. Give your brain a workout, and study for your classes with the constant beeping of literally hundreds of Mizzou students swiping to get into the Rec in the background.
If you are able to follow our strict workout plan (by making your rounds all over the Rec) you might not get a perfect six-pack, but at least the MizzouRec might pay you for cleaning the place and filling the pool. And even if working out isn’t exactly your thing, you can always just sit in the lazy river for a couple of hours or the steam room.
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