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A Walkthrough of Your Average Mizzou Apartment

College is the best time to fly away from the nest and get your very first apartment! No more mom to clean up after you or remind you to eat or do laundry. Sad. BUT you can get as drunk as you want whenever you want, so that’s a plus. Living in an apartment sometimes means random roommates, and sometimes those randos are bat shit crazy and literally cut the cord to your coffee pot. Rude. But every apartment will have the same things in them and The Black Sheep team has whipped up some of the things you’ll find in your average Mizzou apartment.

5.) Mizzou paraphernalia:
You attend Mizzou so obviously there will be something with a Tiger on it somewhere in your apartment. It’s usually a blanket or a flag, maybe some shot glasses or koozies. There is that rare apartment that bleeds black and gold and goes overboard with letting you know where they go to school (but they’re probably just Summer Welcome Leaders).

4.) Empty liquor bottles lining the top of cabinets:
There’s nothing quite like saying “oh yes look how much alcohol I consume!” With placing all your empty bottles on the top of your cabinets you bought from No Gas. Don’t you think that’s a little trashy? We understand if you have some good expensive-ass shit you wanna show off, but literally no one cares about how many $3 wine bottles from Hy-Vee you have up there. Save yourself the embarrassment and don’t do that.

3.) Roommates shit everywhere:
The absolute worse thing is when you have people over but have to say “oh wait hold on don’t sit there, my roommate left their stuff right there, let me move it.” It’s not hard to pick up after yourself… you are an adult now, make your apartment presentable. If this ever happens to you repeatedly, just throw their shit in a nice trash bag and set it right in front of their door so they have to move it.

2.) Crusty dishes:
Ahhhh yes, the trusty crusty dishes you’ll find from months ago when Jared and Nancy came over for pasta night. These dishes at this point need to be thrown out, no amount of soap will get that crusty shit off. Let this be a lesson for your future. If you have time to make the food, you have time to clean the food (off). Nobody wants to have to go buy black and gold paper plates every weekend at the Nifong Walmart. 

1.) G a r b a g e:
Whether it’s on the table or piled up by the front door, there is always going to be trash. You could move your couch out of its spot and you’d find used tissues and a crushed up Natty back there. College kids are disgusting. It’s a wonder how they even keep themselves alive, their apartments are forever dirty as fuck and they eat like shit.

These are only a few of the things you will encounter in an average Mizzou apartment. It’s that awkward stage of almost being totally independent but also calling your mom to ask her to transfer you money to buy toilet paper. College kids have it rough out here. Shitty apartments, shitty roommates… but oh well, we pretty much asked for this.

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