Now, before we get into this, it must be established that this is not a conspiratorial piece. What this article is about is connecting the dots. Everything you read below is 100% fact. It’s up to you, the reader, to draw your own conclusions.
What initially peaked our interest was the conspicuous nature of the Alabama football roster, and some of the names of their players. Featured below are real names of players from their current roster:
Shyheim Carter #5, DB, Freshman
Hootie Jones #6, DB, Junior
Da’Shawn Hand #9, DL. Junior
ArDarius Stewart #13, WR Junior
Rogria Lewis #21 DB, Junior
Anfernee Jennings #33 LB, Freshman
Lester Cotton, #66 OL, Sophomore
Korren Kirven #78 OL, Senior
Richie Petitbon #72 OL, Freshman (Petit-bon in French means “little good”)
Weird, right? But then we noticed a lot of the names were references to things in pop-culture, many with a similar theme.
Hootie Jones #6, DB Junior: “Hootie and the Blowfish,” an old rock band. Blowfish — another name for Pufferfish, a fish famous for poisoning and killing people very painfully, in such a manner that they look similar to a zombie aka the “undead.”
Rueben Foster #9, LB Senior: “Foster the People” is an indie-pop band. Their most famous song is “Pumped Up Kicks.” The lyrics to this song, according to band member Mark Foster, are written from the perspective of a “troubled and delusional youth with homicidal thoughts.” The lines in the chorus warn potential victims to “outrun my gun” and that they “better run, better run, faster than my bullet.”
Montana Murphy #19, QB Freshman: Another band, Dropkick Murphy’s last album “Signed and Sealed in Blood,” was released in 2013. When the band got their start in 1996, they signed with “Hellcat Records.”
Jared Mayden #2, DB Freshman: Iron Maiden, heavy metal band. Their name is a reference to the iron maiden torture device, and they have multiple platinum/gold albums including “The Number of the Beast,” “Life After Death,” and “The Book of Souls.”
Gehrig Dieter #11, WR Senior: It’s safe to assume he was named after Lou Gehrig, the famous Yankee. You know what else was named after Lou Gehrig? Lou Gehrig’s Disease: aka ALS, a fatal disease for which no cure is known.
JK Scott #15, P Junior: J.K. Rowling, award winning author of the Harry Potter franchise. Her books deal with magic and sorcery, and many people say contain Satanic subtexts.
Minkah Fitzpatrick #29, DB Sophomore: Minka Kelly, the actress, is famous for her roles in such movies as Charlie’s Angels and Devil’s Highway.
Dakota Ball #44, TE Senior: Dakota Fanning starred in the film Sweet Home Alabama, weirdly enough. But, she was also in Hansel and Gretel, a story about a little boy and girl who are captured by a cannibalistic witch. The story was originally written by the Brothers Grimm. Another parallel to the Grim Reaper, and death.
Mekhi Brown #48, LB Freshman: Mekhi Phifer is an actor who was on NBC’s hit TV show ER, where in his role as a doctor he dealt with death all the time. He also starred in the 1998 film Hell’s Kitchen, as well as the 2004 film Dawn of the Dead.
Hale Hentges #84, TE Sophomore: Shares a name with actress Hale Berry, famous for her role in the movie Catwoman, in which her character was brought back to life from the dead.”
We could go on, but that’s enough of the roster. It gets even stranger from here.
Alabama Crimson Tide: There is a shade of crimson very close to their colors, called “Red Devil.”
Head Coach: Nick Saban — one letter away from “Satan.” “Old Nick”– an English name for the Devil in Christian tradition. Also born on All Hallows’ Eve. You do the math.
As in the picture above, Saban often wears a red “A” on his chest….remind you of anything?
Insert: The Scarlet Letter, a novel by Nathaniel Hawthorne that recalls the tale of Adam and Eve (according to Wikipedia). The plot revolves around a woman who has committed adultery, and is thus shamed with a scarlet “A” on her chest.
Although they have not even been close to proven true, rumors began circulating last year that Saban’s (married) daughter had sexual intercourse with then offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin.
Has Alabama Football made a deal with the Devil? Is Nick Saban actually Satan aka the Devil? We’re not the one to answer this question. But wow, that was a lot of evidence that something is definitely up here.
It’s homecoming season, so get ready for some old dudes to buy you some beer.