Most students ignore the campus preacher on the Quad when they’re shamed for normal college behavior of having premarital sex and masturbating, but when college junior Kenny Mattis was told by the insane preacher that he was heading to hell in the afterlife, he realized they might have a point.
“I had to stop in my tracks and hear this guy out. First of all, this guy absolutely nailed the fact that I do masturbate,” Mattis said. “At first I thought I was just punishing myself for pleasure and because I’m extremely lonely. But, this guy may have a point–an uneducated point, but a point–that me pleasing myself has ultimately decided my fate that I deserve an eternity with the devil in the rings of hell.”
Mattis was bothered to learn of his destiny from a stranger on the Quad as he went back to his apartment, so in order to distract himself from his inevitable final destination, he decided to grab a dirty tube sock from his drawer and accept his fate.
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