Halloween is right around the corner, and students are gearing up for the holiday. Some decorate their dorm rooms with “KEEP OUT” signs and skeletons, some use it as an excuse to stock up on candy, and some frat brothers, like Alex Berman from Chi Wanna Die, decided to celebrate this year by not texting you the fuck back.
After not one, but two dates, followed by you watching him and his roommate play Overwatch for 45 minutes before having mediocre sex, Berman decided that in the spirit of Halloween, he would ghost you for a week to “subtly” let you know that this relationship is purely physical, even though you met on Tinder and this is all you ever expected.
“I was like ‘hmmm, how can I let this chick know she’s only good for sex?’” said Berman, as he sucked Cheeto dust off of his fingers. “Then I was like ‘WOW. PERFECT. It’s Halloween. I’ll ghost her.’ Ha hahah ha hhahahhahahhahaa.”
He continued to evil-laugh at his own bad joke for a full minute.
For the next week and a half, Berman ignored any attempt you made to contact him. After three unanswered texts and two opened Snapchats, you decided it wasn’t worth looking desperate and happily moved on with your life.
That is, until you finally received a text back at 1:33 a.m. on a Tuesday that said “u up?” proving once again that this frat boy doesn’t hate you, he’s just spooked by the thought of feelings.
Although you returned the ghosting by deleting his number, it has haunted you ever since. Happy Halloween. Stay safe out there.
Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.