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All Hands On Deck: This Girl Just Called For An Emergency Meeting In The Bar Bathroom After Seeing Brittany Talking To John

At the Smith Street bar, an emergency meeting was called in the bar bathroom by campus junior Sarah Williams after she witnessed her enemy Brittany Matthews talk to Williams’ ex-boyfriend, John Curry.

“The bar bathroom for me is my version of The Situation Room and my friends who are my aides and I discussed what to do about this emergency situation of my ex-boyfriend clearly moving on from me way too quickly. Shame on him for not drunk texting me at 3 a.m. asking to hook up!” Williams said. “After my friends and I took multiple breaks taking group photos in the bar bathroom mirror and snorting cocaine off the toilet seat, we decided the best route here to glare at her from afar and spread some rumors about her.”

Williams will be updating her Snapchat story throughout the evening to make it seem like she’s thriving by taking pictures of her sipping a long island and her arms wrapped around a random guy at the bar waiting for Curry to view the snaps the next morning.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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