Intern Karen Williams has been doing an incredible job at the downtown Chicago consulting firm keeping it all together in her cubicle despite the fact she woke up still drunk this morning from a night out bar hopping in Lakeview.
“There goes our superstar intern Karen burning the midnight oil and crunching numbers,” Williams’ supervisor Chris Carney said. “What’s so great is that she’s so focused, very hydrated to the point where she’s getting up to the go to the bathroom every few minutes and always has tons of mints that she takes in the morning so her breath always smells nice.”
Although Williams was straight-up typing complete gibberish into a Microsoft Word document to look busy, she’ll take the high praise from her manager despite still being shitfaced from last night.
“I cannot see straight and everytime I try to walk away from my desk I fall over. Everyone just thinks I’m clumsy,” Martin said. “I’ve been hanging by the water cooler most of the day not because I want to talk to these middle-aged men, but because I’m so extremely dehydrated. I can’t believe I’m pulling this off.”
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