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Report: No One Knows Why The 50-Year-Old Man Swims In The Campus Rec Pool Every Morning

It’s been reported that absolutely no one knows why the random 50-year-old man swims laps in the campus rec pool every single morning.

“There is no reason why a 50-year-old man should be on a college campus unless he’s some underpaid professor – it’s just so weird that he does this,” said Doug Williams, a campus junior. “Campus rec pools are for chubby guys to cannon ball and sorority girls to sit on floats.You can’t use these state-of-the-art pools for their actual purpose here when you’re at college.”

The 50-year-old man has been identified as Charles Green, a resident of  campustown, who uses the pool every morning for his exercise.

“I’m these student’s parents age, so it’s my job to lack social cues of a college student and ruin a good time.Me swimming with my speedo making everyone confused and comfortable is sort of my thing here,” Green said. “I want to get used to exercising in the water because I’m ten years away from doing water aerobics at the campus YMCA.”

Green was last seen, unsurprisingly, walking around butt naked in the campus rec center locker room.

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