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Sorority Sisters, Like, So Upset After 23andMe Results Show $1,000 Dues Doesn’t Mean They’re Actually Family

New 23andMe results have sent shockwaves throughout the Alpha Delta sorority after two sorority sisters, Sarah Martin and Brittany Davis, found out that the $1,000 membership dues their parents are paying for didn’t make them actually related according to the service’s result database.

“I’m absolutely devastated Sarah and I aren’t actually related. We have a really close relationship because we drink together three times a week and talk behind each other’s back five times a week, isn’t that the sign of a real family?” Martin said. “This science thing made us spit in a cup to get our DNA and it still didn’t show we’re sisters. I literally spit in Brittany’s mouth every single week because we obviously share drinks, and also because I love her.”

The results were disappointing for the pair but it won’t fully tarnish Martin and Davis’ relationship because they learned a lot along the way.

“I found out I was 50% Irish, 30% Italian and 20% Polish, which is a really forgettable thing I can tell a guy at the bar, so that’ll be good for me,” Davis said. “So what we aren’t actual sisters? I still love her, and anything my family pays over $1,000 for me.”

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