On Saturday February 25th, President Trump announced via Twitter that he will not be attending this year’s White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, an action that hasn’t occurred in 36 years.
Sources tell The Black Sheep, the reason Trump refuses to attend is a deep-seated fear of being compared to his reenactors.
“The Correspondents’ Dinner has certainly transformed into a night of Hollywood stars putting on a show for a good cause, and frankly, a lot of Hollywood stars have already done that in the persona of Donald Trump,” television writer Sarah Walker explained. “Darrell Hammond, Jimmy Fallon, Alec Baldwin, the list goes on and on. Frankly, Trump has a lot to live up to, and he knows he can’t do the job.”
Apparently much of Trump’s first 100 days in office has been preparing for this event, but he has hit a ceiling.
“It was getting…better,” Trump’s personal Trump impersonation trainer Louie Vutal explained. “He was starting to get it. Then he’d start changing to a different accent in the middle of a sentence, and he couldn’t get back to it. I told him to just be himself, but he kept flip-flopping back and forth between characters. We really did try.”
While White House deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders stated that Trump was not elected to “spend his time with reporters and celebrities,” sources have overheard her giving conflicting stories.
“It’s just causing him too much stress, trying to fill the role of himself,” Sanders explained to a coworker at the Green Door Pub on Sunday night. “He just walks around doing excessive hand gestures. Like, he broke a chandelier. The other day we received an order for 550 of those small hands that you put on your fingers. I think he’s having a mid-life crisis, honestly.”
While it is clear Trump will not be attending this coming April, the President has stated there is one way he would go to the Correspondents’ Dinner.
“If Sarah Palin is president someday, I would go; my impersonation of her is practically spot on,” Trump explained Monday night. “I’ve been putting in some work recently, and I’m positive that I could put Tina Fey out of business. Plus, I’ve got at least four more years to perfect it!” Trump realized. “Oh yeah, I’ll be ready.”
WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.