It’s no wonder printing isn’t free when all of the students’ tuition money goes into remodeling campus. And not just replacing the bricks down by Rams – oh, sorry, Chase – Dining Hall for the millionth time. People get kind of numb to the construction, until we all leave for break, and everything’s different when we stumble back in. So, here’s the five big projects you won’t see coming over this spring break:
5.) Lenoir Hall gets a third floor:
Due to this being the most-requested Napkin Chat, a new floor is set to be installed in Lenoir Hall. But, instead of expanded dining areas, the project is going in a different direction, which the university assures us will be much more enjoyable. The new floor will be a ballroom used solely for orientation formals and new mascot initiations. Additionally, some of the second-floor dining space will be removed to make way for the quadruple escalators leading up, but it should make a welcome addition to everyone’s favorite dining hall! Before everyone stops coming due to lack of space, that is.
4.) Hanes Art Center to be shifted sideways:
For a while now, there has been construction by the parking lot right outside of Hanes Art Center. In fact, it has gone on so long that the construction crews have forgotten what the original purpose of it was. However, they can’t leave a big unpaved section on campus, so to cover it up, the entire Hanes building will be shifted sideways and on top of it. This was determined to be, not the cheapest, but the most aesthetic solution, and the art department is all about aesthetic.
3.) Other popular sports fields get buildings:
The recent construction on Ehringhaus Field worked well at maintaining the field’s condition, because nobody could actually use it. Therefore, the university will be constructing more buildings smack-dab in the middle of other popular fields around campus, starting with Hooker Fields, and leading up to the grand unveiling of a new storage warehouse at the fifty-yard line in Kenan Stadium! The turf will be kept flawless, and when the Tar Heels leave for each away game, they’ll be comforted by the knowledge that their unusable home stadium looks great.
2.) Stadium Drive construction makes way for South Road work:
Everyone who has been affected by the road work on Stadium Drive will be relieved to learn that it will finally be completed over spring break. Better yet, this will free up funds to start work right in the middle of South Road before students come back! The construction is expected to last a hell of a lot longer than it needs to, and yes, the busses will be shut down for the duration. But in exchange, fresh paint will be put on the crosswalk by Student Stores. Isn’t that nice?
1.) Bell Tower gets digital faces:
The beloved Bell Tower will be entering the modern age over break, as it is outfitted with new, completely digital faces replacing the old analog ones. The bright glare of their numbers shining over the campus at night will serve as an inspiring reminder of a school embroiled in the march of technology. Of course, there’s no reason to worry about the bell itself. Its ringing would wreak havoc with the electronics, so it will be safely transported to Koury Hall. There, it will ring every morning to welcome new freshman to our wonderful school!
Things may change in Chapel Hill from year to year, but it’s comforting to know that some things will always stay the same, in the sense that they’re construction projects which never end.
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