You wake up in the jeans you wore yesterday with eyeliner smudged down your face and alcohol sweating from your pores. You don’t regret it! You’re young and it was a Saturday! You’re allowed to have a little fun. Roll out of bed and find yourself some greasy food to sink your teeth into to soak up the alc–OH GOD WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE TEXTS FROM KEVIN WHAT DO THEY SAY
5.) Benny’s Pizza:
Nothing says youth like pizza for breakfast! Drag your wilting body to Benny’s Pizza on Franklin for a giant slice of cheese pizza! On the way there, you can look at the eight (8) texts you sent to Kevin. You ease yourself in with just the first one.
11:02 PM: come to Kayla’s!!
Okay! The first one isn’t that bad! Dip your pizza in ranch and take a breath.
4.) The Mookie Burger at Al’s:
Al’s is definitely the pricier option on this list but the Mookie Burger is sure to cure your headache and get rid of that taste in your mouth. Let the garlic aioli calm your nerves as you read the next slew of texts.
11:19 PM: we never hang anymore
11:36 PM: im drink
11:51 PM: hahahaha
Okay! Still not too bad. Friends text those kind of updates at to their friends! Platonically! There’s no way he’d read anything into that. Get sweet potato fries.
3.) Waffle House:
Obviously, this is not a Chapel Hill original, but its location on Franklin makes it a prime next morning spot to get your breakfast on. Order an all-star special and build up the nerve to read the next two.
12:14 AM: kevin!!
12:46 AM: hey can wetalk
Hmm what did you want to talk about? Surely it was something important and serious and not that you think his new haircut is cute.
2.) Buns Grilled Cheese:
12:55 AM: yourmew haircit is cute
The grilled cheese at Buns is really good. Get ranch again.
1.) Chicken Biscuit at Rise:
A Rise chicken biscuit is the ultimate hangover foods and the only thing to brace you to read the last text you sent.
1:47 AM: 😉
Great call! Sure, he hadn’t responded to the other 7 texts, but how could he resist a WINK? You read his texts from this morning.
10:02 AM: omg hey
10:02 AM: sorry I went home this weekend
10:05 AM: everything okay?
Yikes. Okay. You take a minute and carefully craft your response. This is what your four years of college education have been preparing you for.
11:05 AM: Sorry, that was my friend!
Eat your biscuit and marvel in your ingenuity. Maybe you should order a creme brulée donut while you’re here.