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Is Lenoir Really Better Than Rams?

The age old question of which dining hall is better has been up for debate for years, with a furious new vendetta against Rams since it has been trying to galavant around as Chase. The Black Sheep is now putting the debate to rest after comparing the essential aspects of both dining halls.

3.) Ice cream machines:

Here is Lenoir’s ice cream machine, accompanied by the topping area.

What the actual fuck? This isn’t McDonalds; why is it broken? Why would a student even try getting into UNC if they knew can’t use the ice cream machine everyday? Furthermore, the empty space between the pecans and peanuts where the almonds should be represents the emptiness in many UNC students’  hearts. And just because there’s no ice cream means there should be no toppings? Inaccurate assumption, CDS.

Here is Rams’ ice cream machine, and the topping area.

The beautiful chocolate and vanilla drippings. The Reese’s crumbly dust that has formulated elegantly. The presence of gummy bears. Rams clearly has a better ice cream machine situation.

However as one concerned student, Harleigh Murdurk put it — “Each dining hall only has gummy bears sometimes.” This is a valid point, and something CDS should reflect on

Winner: Rams, obviously.

2.) Cheese Pizza:

Lenoir pizza is very oily and not crisp. It tastes like pizza. The cooks do not burn it.

Rams pizza usually looks like this. Very oily and crisp. The cooks burn it a lot and it tastes like pizza. This slice was really good though.

Winner: Rams if you like it crisp; Lenoir if you don’t. But go for both as long as you like having a face that looks like the oily pizza.

1.) Fries:

Lenoir has self-serve. Technically, you could eat the entirety of the fries depicted in the photo. No one is stopping you.

Rams fries have a set amount, and though this amount is good, it could be bigger. Granted, you could go back for more and more and more, but then the CDS lady will think you’re a fat ass.

Winner: Lenoir.

A few more notes in the investigation:

Lenoir has turkey bacon cheddar burger. Rams does not. Interesting.

Rams has booths. Lenoir has tight, uncomfortable long tables. Interesting.

Lenoir has a burrito station. Rams has a ground beef station that never has guac and sometimes serves strange things like egg rolls.

Now for the final judgement.
How easy is it to sneak out food from both dining halls? The $11 swipe has to expand beyond a normal student’s stomach capacity.

Riding the glorious down escalator in Lenoir is like taking candy from a baby. No one is going to stop you from taking out a brownie you put in the toaster (not allowed FYI), an entire tray of pizza, or a CDS worker themselves. Furthermore, the to-go cups are conveniently located by the drink machines rather than under the watchful gaze of the CDS workers like at Rams.

Rams is a bit more menacing of an exit. Taking three bananas from the dining hall is a difficult if not impossible task. No ice cream in a to go cup will make it out alive, since the workers have a sixth sense for lactose.

After careful deliberation: Get someone else to swipe you into the dining hall so you don’t spend money. Don’t be picky about which one. You’re already probably in debt. Or, if you don’t have any friends and it’s not finals season, then try to sneak in. Act confident when you do it or you will fail and Carol Folt will appear, as small and angry as ever. If that doesn’t work, then go to Wendy’s.

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