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In Pit Mishap, Dance Marathon Accidentally Elected SBP

In a shocking turn of events, Dance Marathon has been declared winner of the 2018 Student Body President Election.

The Student Union announced the groundbreaking results Tuesday night. Meghan Carlovich, a Union employee, ties the confusing conclusion to chaos in the Pit.

“There’s just so much yelling,” she said. “Vote for me! Sign up for Dance Marathon! Eat this free, homemade cookie! It’s a nightmare!”

Carlovich says students conflated the SBP candidates and Carolina For the Kids (CFTK) representatives, resulting in a huge write-in campaign for Dance Marathon.

Mark Newton, sophomore, voted for Dance Marathon on HeelLife this past Tuesday. “I didn’t know much about the other candidates or, like, what Student Body President does anyway? And Dance Marathon sold me a cool sticker and is like, curing cancer or something, so, yeah, I voted for it.”

Dance Marathon was not the only write-in candidate to gain traction, with Harambe and “Duke Sucks” not far behind in votes. Carlovich says she’s grateful Harambe didn’t win, as there’s “no protocol for a candidate winning postmortem.”

It’s unclear how this will affect participation in the actual Dance Marathon event this year and if the losing, human SBP candidates will be required to participate.


As there was no campaign or platform, it’s unclear what Dance Marathon will do now in office. However, students can rest assured that this leader of college undergraduates and graduates will have the right priority in mind: the kids <3.

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