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Senior Brings Entire Kenan Stadium As Container to Mug Night

Senior spring is about ignoring your academics and clinging to your youth. UNC Senior Jane Newton mastered this on Monday when she brought the entire Kenan Stadium as her container to Mug Night.

Mug Night is a part of Sup Dogs’ weekly specials in which you can bring in any sort of container and they’ll fill it with beer for $2 or $3. Frat Boys and Stressed Girls™ alike flock to this occasion in order to get smashed on Aristocrat handles full of Shock Top.

“We’ve seen the occasional fish bowl, a cooler maybe,” said Sup Dogs employee Monique Anthony. “Never anything bigger than that. Until last night.”

Newton said she hadn’t been planning on bringing the entire football stadium to the Franklin establishment. “I was walking back from Campus Health, got lost, and somehow ended up inside the B Gate of Kenan Stadium. I thought – ‘I wonder if anyone’s using this for anything?’”

Newton said she didn’t overthink it, and suddenly she was inside Sup Dogs.

“Listen, it had been a long week,” said Newton. “I just turned in my Senior Thesis. I have my defense coming up. What does that mean? What am I defending? I had a lot on my plate.”

“We were overwhelmed by the request,” said Anthony. “But I said – we’ve got to do this. We’ve got to stick to our word.”

Newton is among many students desperate for cheap alcohol. “Listen, grad school is expensive. I still owe $242 to the student stores for my online French access code. Every now and then I can afford a $7 Linda’s cocktail but sometimes I gotta take what I can.”

Sup Dogs was not able to provide a stadium’s worth of one beer, so Newton’s container was filled with every type of beer they had, all their Sup Swirl ingredients, and so, so many tots.

“I’m still working on drinking it,” said Newton. “I brought it home with me last night so it’s just sitting in my fridge. Most of it’s left. Or like, a lot of it. Okay, there’s not that much? Really just seats 1 – 5 in section C are still filled.”

The Mayor of Chapel Hill made a statement late Monday evening that there is no more beer in the entire triangle.

“Honestly I prefer hard liquor,” Newton said, “But I’m glad to have put the football stadium to good use, finally.”

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