The spring semester is more than halfway over, UNC’s basketball season has died an early death, and you’ve skipped a ton of job fairs and internship expos. What do all of these events have in common? They all point to the inevitable: you’ll have to sign up for fall semester classes soon. Here are some tips on how to successfully preplan your schedule in advance for once!
6.) Start by logging in:
In order to search for classes, you have to log-in to ConnectCarolina. Sounds basic, but it’s probably been 6 months since you last logged in (probably when you were rushing to sign up for classes for the spring semester). Don’t worry, it’s super easy, just click on the log in button and… Why won’t your personal page load? It should’ve loaded by now… Did you take the Carolina gods’ names in vain recently?
5.) Search on the Internet for 3 hours and talk to the IT guys for 4 years to find out you need a VPN:
Ok, no big deal. You just need to figure out what a VPN is, how to download or install it onto your computer or whatever, and you’ll totally be able to log in this time! So what if you just spent an entire day finding out what a VPN is, maybe you can say you have some Comp Sci experience now or something. Anything to avoid sacrificing a ram to appease the Carolina gods, who are in a particularly bad mood following the basketball season. Anyway, now you should be able to log in.
4.) Try logging in again:
Okay, cool, you made it to the log-in page, and…. Apparently the Carolina gods have decided now is the time to do some maintenance work, so you can’t log in. It can’t be for that long, right? How is it for an indefinite amount of time? How is that possible; literally everyone needs to use this site! Ok, just check back in tomorrow or something, you’ll probably be able to log in then.
3.) While you wait, do a ritual and sacrifice something to honor the ConnectCarolina gods:
Doing some rituals never hurt anybody! Just promise to dedicate your first-born child’s life to Carolina. They’ll be the ultimate UNC sports fan, and apply to no other school but UNC. And if that doesn’t work, promise to do it for your second-born child too, and your third, and your fourth… Just keep promising until the website works again.
2.) Log in again:
Okay, finally. No more VPN issues, no more maintenance, no more angry, vindictive Carolina gods. Your page has finally loaded. It’s probably the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, despite having the color scheme of a 1990s business spreadsheet. Anyway, none of that matters, because it’s time to actually search for classes! Now just spend an hour trying to figure out how to search for classes. Don’t forget to specify which semester you’re searching for each time you make a new search; you don’t want a repeat of last semester when you put everything in your spring shopping cart… And now it’s somehow saying that all of the classes you’re searching for are closed even though registration doesn’t start for a month. Maybe start chanting the Carolina Fight song? The Carolina gods love that.
1.) This is impossible. Just pick out 5 classes 5 minutes before your enrollment appointment:
Just try something new! Maybe you’ll enjoy taking 3 art history classes, 1 philosophy class, and an independent study in physics! So what if none of these classes are related to your major at all. You’re going to be fine, maybe just… change your major or something? And maybe make sure you’re in good standing with the Carolina gods before your next enrollment appointment.
Congratulations on somewhat successfully planning and enrolling in classes using ConnectCarolina, thanks be to the Carolina gods. Now you just have to go through the process of taking said classes, and prepare for next semester’s enrollment period. You should probably get a head-start buying all the Carolina gear you can get. The Carolina gods can’t get enough of it, and you’ll need all the help you can get.
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