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Angry Mob That “Thought Greek Week Meant Something Else” Forms In Denton Streets


This week marks the momentous, incredible, pride-filled week of students who believe they were meant to wear togas. Yes, those students of the University of North Texas campus, who pay the small price of an arm and a leg for friendship, will gather together and celebrate the pride they feel for their “Kappa Gamma Pi Tri Delta Fart Zeta.” However, this Greek Week, not just the toga-loving thespians were seen parading the streets. Instead, angry mobs began forming along Greek row for some upset individuals confused about the meaning of Greek Week.


The fraternities and sororities of UNT wanted word out about Greek Week to all students interested in rushing next fall. In order to advertise the week of the Greek, many fraternities got their new members to advertise on the inter-webs. Cale Hastings advertised for the event on his Club Penguin account, not knowing how many penguin friends from Greece he had mutual penguin relationships with. “All I did was let the fellow penguins know about the festivities of Greek Week, I guess I could’ve been more clear about Greek Week being about rush events,” said Hastings.


Grecians who got word of the event were severely disappointed with the Greek-filled week, and many of these visitors are rioting the Greek center to ask for a refund for their overpriced airfare. Other Mediterranean restaurants, who thought this event would be a boost for business, were disappointed to find no one wanted a lamb gyro and instead settled for a PBR/hotdog combo. Greek philosophy majors were among the list of disappointed when a small gathering of Odyssey fanatics came to the events in full blown comic-con-esc costumes of Odysseus and other Greek Gods. Among the clan of costumes, Zeus himself broke out in an angry rage upon finding out the real meaning of Greek Week.


The Black Sheep was able to talk to the president of Kappa Felta Thigh to discuss the angry mobsters outside their house on Greek row. Tyler Fredrickson has been the president for a little over a year now and stated “Greek Week is like Christmas for me, seriously my favorite, and these angry Grecians who got word from club penguin, are totally killing my good vibes. Us dudes just want to relax, wear our visors inside and meet some new pledges we can mess with.”


This Greek Week, make sure to allow more time for the commute to class. Avoid the area near the Greek Life Center where most of the mob has been centralized. Campus officials have been informed to clear the streets and lead most the Grecian’s back to DFW airport. Fraternities and Sororities plan to continue activities of Greek Week according to their normal schedule. Students interested in fanny packs, PBR and visors are invited to attend the weeks festivities.


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