Here at UNT some students aren’t lucky enough to make it home for this holiday break. Lucky for you we have provided some recipes to convince your friends a better Paula Dean has resurfaced. Don’t settle for vending machine food, and instead combine those pre-packaged flavors into a warm meal to replace the warmth of home you won’t receive.
Cheese Cracker Stuffing:
Each stuffing recipe has one main ingredient: bread. This stuffing recipe is one that won’t disappoint your family like you have your whole life.
1.) Grab crackers from the stash of food under your bed, and place in a zip lock bag.
2.) Crush the crackers using all the resentment you have for your stepfather.
2.) Grab a piece of bread and pound it thin like your step-dad taught you before anger management
4.) Wring out an old sock to flavor the bread
5.) Crumble the crackers on top and enjoy the cheese crumble stuffing
This next recipe is sure to satisfy your main course needs and provide the comfort food you need since you won’t be experiencing the comfort of home.
Turkey Slices In Cup-Of-Noodles:
You can’t spend Thanksgiving without indulging in some turkey. Make the pilgrims proud this season with some turkey slices in your everyday meal.
1.) Microwave your ramen-like cup of noodles in the microwave; pretend your microwave is the fireplace at home in order to relive the moments you used to spend by the fire.
2.) Pick out the pieces of turkey meat that are still edible in your sandwich from Kerr Cafeteria.
3.) Place those turkey pieces in the soup and gobble away this legendary meal.
Desserts are a necessity after stuffing your face. Fill your dorm with the smells of home by opening a fresh package of Oreos.
1.) Crumble those Oreos up real thin into a cup of milk. (Don’t have milk? Use water from the toilet!).
2.) Pour that concoction onto a paper towel (Don’t have a paper towel? Use your roommate’s shirt!).
3.) Grab a spoon, enjoy your milkshake (Cant enjoy it? Cry into a sock!).
This final recipe is sure to make your step dad love you with its simplistic taste. It’s an easy recipe with little room for error.
Warning: Pictured above is hopefully not exaggerated reality. Otherwise your step dad was right and you are a failure.
Everyone needs water! And after all the tears you’ve shed, you’ll need to reup.*
1.) Turn the knob on the crusty dorm room sink.
2.) Fill the glass with the weird tasting tap water you’ve avoided for so long.
3.) Drink up.
*Avoid crying while enjoying these recipes to limit sodium levels.