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Jazz Combo Stuck Jamming at Dan’s SilverLeaf Since Last Tuesday

 

A three-piece jazz band has been stuck at Dan’s SilverLeaf jamming almost continuously since 7 p.m. last Tuesday, in an increasingly deteriorating situation that appears to have no end. The Black Sheep interviewed the jazz combo drummer Alex Williams for his input.

 

“God, it hurts so bad!” screamed Williams during his turn for a solo, banging now almost completely destroyed floor toms while maintaining a cool 4/4 beat with the hi-hat, as he had been doing for the past 138 hours. “I want to go home, but that piece of shit Jake [Billingham, jazz combo pianist] keeps banging on the A sharp diminished chord and won’t resolve it to a B major so we can go home. He went to a D sharp minor 7th and we all got really excited that he’d go somewhere with it, but then he went right back to the A sharp diminished. I swear, I’m gonna kill that bastard. He can’t keep this up forever.”

 

The manager of Dan’s SilverLeaf, Daniel Leaf, is similarly distressed at the situation. “Yeah, they’ve played here a bunch of times before, and everything went okay then,” Mr. Leaf told us, glancing at the visibly pained and screaming jazz trio. “This time though, the piano player came in with this scary look on his face and an ungodly twinkle in his eye. I knew when he said that this show was going to be ‘experimental’ that we were in for a miserable time, so here we are.

 

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“Guess we just have to wait it out,” he mumbled, lighting another cigarette and handing out water bottles to the band.

 

However, according to Jay Saunders, director of UNT’s famed One O’Clock Lab Band, these types of events are not uncommon. “Well, you know, troublemakers just like Jake come around every once in awhile,” Saunders said, letting out a sigh and looking out the window. “One time a few years ago, I was conducting a regular concert for the band, and the bass player wouldn’t stop jamming, and since according to the Jazz Code of Conduct, we had to keep playing until he stopped. We lost a few good trumpeters, and an okay trombonist. Hopefully Jake will come to his senses soon enough and will end this before someone seriously gets hurt.”

 

At press time, Jake was maniacally laughing and screaming, “just a couple more measures, boys,” while playing the same chord.

 

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