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Sheriff Travis Contemplates Which International Students to Monitor First with No Probable Cause


Sheriff William Travis of Denton County recently stated in a North Texas Daily article that he believes that international students who “come from countries that don’t agree with the U.S.” should be watched closely, and wants to “make sure [the sheriff’s office] is in constant contact with these universities…[and] with Homeland Security and the FBI so [the sheriff’s office] know[s] what these students are doing at all times.” Unfortunately, implementation of this policy may prove rather difficult.


“Well, after some research, I’m a little stumped,” Sheriff Travis said, staring at the paperwork on his desk and twiddling a pen between his fingers. “I read that the U.S. has had disagreements with Israel recently, and have long-standing disputes over Israeli settlements and the Israel-Palestine peace process, so I guess they don’t agree with us ALL the time, but…” Sheriff Travis trailed off, drumming his fingers on his desk.


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After a while, he looked back up, saying, “I know! Pakistani students! They’re Moslems!” Unfortunately, upon news that the Pakistani government and military frequently collaborate and work together with the U.S. in mutual anti-terror operations, he sunk back into his chair, visibly crestfallen.


A long period of silence passed before the sheriff looked up once more at our correspondent and said,  “Honestly, I kinda had Saudi Arabia in mind when I said that. But, uh, it turns out they’ve been staunch allies of the U.S. for awhile, and we get a lot of oil from them and do military stuff with them, even though we disagree sometimes too.” After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he began cross referencing Denton County’s laws with state and federal laws, seeing if there was anything that allowed tracking international students simply “if they’re brown and have an accent.” 


When asked about his feelings regarding students from Russia, a country with increasingly strained ties to the U.S., Travis waved our correspondent out of the office without looking up from his computer, saying “yeah, yeah.”


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