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Top 5 Ghosts Haunting the Abandoned Fine Arts Theater

 

If you’ve been here in the past three years, you may have thought that the Fine Arts Theater on the Square has served no purpose besides supplying the bulletin boards to post the flyers for your band’s upcoming show. However, the Fine Arts Theater is a home for wayward ghosts, and, after spending time in there in a particularly dark period of our lives, The Black Sheep can tell you, definitively, which are the best ghosts there to encounter.

 

5.) Dark Ricky:

Dark Ricky…oh man. Always with the morbid jokes, ha ha! As if he has anything to be worried about now! He’s dead! His lawn mower flipped on him, the goof! But at least it gave him a great sense of humor. Good ol’ Ricky…he really kept the place alive… just kidding! It was filled with ghosts! Hah!

 

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4.) Maudlin Margaret:

Margaret…the biggest sweetheart! She really held the theater together, what with paying the phone bill, making us all soup, telling our mothers we were okay, etc. Margaret’s sad life as a piano tuner/meat entrepreneur inspired all of us to get off our butts and be glad that we were still in the world of the living, effecting change, eating solid food, and being able to open doors with our flesh hands.

 

3.) Ted:

Ugh, Ted. Just…ugh. We love you anyways. But…ugh.

 

2.) Carl, Great Warden of Souls, He Who Is Most Exalted In The Fine Arts Theater, Gracing Us With Light And Glory:

Oh Carl, Carl, Great Warden of Souls, He Who Is Most Exalted In The Fine Arts Theater, Gracing Us With Light And Glory, we appreciate your stewardship in our lives. Truly, our life was in your hands, and as mayor of the Theater, we knew our town was safe with you, He Who Is Most Exalted In The Fine Arts Theater, Gracing Us With Light And Glory. Your true strength and moral fortitude inspired us, even in our darkest moments. Thank you, Carl, Great Warden of Souls, He Who Is Most Exalted In The Fine Arts Theater, Gracing Us With Light And Glory, for being most exalted in the Fine Arts Theater, gracing us with light and glory.

 

1.) Wally:

Wally. Wally. Wally, I…

 

Well, there you have it! Our favorite ghosts, from our amazing time, sleeping on the floor of Denton’s No. 1 ghost convention, run smoothly, by Carl, Great Warden of Souls, He Who Is Most Exalted In The Fine Arts Theater, Gracing Us With Light And Glory! Thanks to all these ghosts for getting us through the tough times, and here’s hoping they fuck off and don’t haunt me ever again, except Wally, my love. Come back to me.

 

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