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6 Most F*cked Up Things that Have Ever Happened at NAU

 

Every high school student wants to know the myths and legends of schools they’re applying to, so we made this handy dandy guide for you to brush up your knowledge of the mysterious and arcane here at NAU. But tread lightly; some of these things are truly horrific.

 

6.) The Death in Room 200A (1953):
In the winter of 1953 a 19-year-old named Kathy killed herself in room 200A in North Morton Hall.  Due to her parent’s lack of funds, she was not able to come home over winter break.  Tired of being in a dorm that smelt like ass, she had enough and was found by two janitors the next day. One of these women named Mary Nunoz who verified this myth by saying she saw her dead in a 1992 edition of the Lumberjack.  Since then students have been blaming “Kathy the Ghost” for strange things happening in the dorm.  Who really knows if its Kathy or the devil’s lettuce causing these acquisitions.  Regardless, we should call ghostbusters!

 

5.) Ehh Asbestos Is Okay In SBS West (2014):
If you have ever taken a class in SBS West and thought to yourself, “damn what a dump?” Well you are not far off.  Apparently, the building was in talk of being condemned due to significant age of the structure when the WA Franke Business College was being built.  The Arizona Board of Regents stated that the building was in the worst condition possible which is flaming balls red. That’s right, a kindergarten color scale from red to green determines a buildings state. Don’t worry though because in 2006 renovations began in SBS West, and brought the building up to a working “orange condition”.  Oh, and asbestos is most certainly in SBS West. However, students were told not to worry because its only harmful if breathed in.  Until the SBS West becomes Rita Cheng’s next construction project just remember to save your breath.

 

4.) Old Main Was Originally Built as An Insane Asylum (1893):
That’s right, before NAU became a school in 1899 it was authorized as a reform school for vicious youth.  This is how Rita Cheng describes NAU to her colleagues.  Physicians then agreed that Phoenix was the proper location for an insane asylum and I agree.  I mean that basically describes ASU anyway.

 

3.) Restroom Overflow (2015):
On Jan. 19, 2016, a staff member in the Liberal Arts building reported someone repeatedly causing a toilet to overflow in the restroom.  The best part is this act has been going on since 2015.  Either this is some type of political protest or a giant keeps trying to flush a space ship sized dump down the toilet.

 

2.) DUI Suspicion Because Of Ice Cream (2016):
On Jan. 16, 2016 two NAUPD officers stopped a vehicle on suspicion of DUI.  This claim however turned out to be false as the vehicle swerving was due to spilled ice cream on the road.  That’s right a delicious frosty treat on the ground caused an individual to be delayed to their destination while trying to explain to the cops they did it for the ice cream.  At least we can say no ice cream was hurt.

 

1.) Large Snowball Complaint (2015):
If you thought your Resident Assistant was annoying think again.  On Nov. 5, 2015 one Resident Assistant of Reilly Hall called the NAUPD around midnight in response to the scene of a large snowball in front of the building.  It was removed and students where bummed to find out that their drunken creation was destroyed.

 

If you were the main cause of any of these situations, thank you.  Not only did you make history, but you made NAU a better place for it.  Here is to another year of absolutely mind boggling shit.

 

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