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5 Things the Class of 2021 Will Never Know About NAU

These poor incoming freshmen will never get to know how great NAU once was a mere 4 months ago. There was a time when NAU was full of peace and tranquility. However, with time comes change, and with new incoming classes comes a new-and-improved (or so they say) NAU. This is a list of things from yesteryear that the NAU class of 2021 will live their entire lives knowing nothing about.

5.) The glorious forests:
NAU use to be a place of beauty where you could smell the pine trees, and hear birds chirping in the distance. Now the only wood you can see on campus are partially built structures and yours. The birds have been replaced too, with the sound of smog-infesting machines polluting our clean air. It’s too bad the freshmen will never be able to experience NAU’s glorious forests. Poor saps. 

4.) The simplicity of the old bus routes:
For the freshmen, the bus routes might make sense.  However, for upperclassmen it has us scratching our fucking heads every time we look at a map.  These “new” bus routes that have been made to accommodate the construction on campus are more complicated than trying to do the kids’ meal maize at Denny’s stoned out of your mind at 3 a.m.  The buses were just better back in the good old days.

3.) There used to be parking lots:
Believe it or not there use to be parking lots on campus. However, with the creation of a new honors college, another parking lot has been sacrificed and as a result, finding a parking spot on campus has proved to be quite the challenge. You would have a better chance of not getting diarrhea from Chipotle than finding a parking spot on campus.

2.) The ability to smoke on campus:
There was a time when students could smoke tobacco products on campus.  However, last year NAU was pronounced a tobacco-free campus. So if you see smoke coming out of a bush, chances are it’s someone trying to get a much needed vape session in before class. Thanks NAU for making everyone a fucking vaper, this whole thing is your fault.

1.) The secret I-17 entrance:
Let’s say you have class and you’re running terribly late due to a crippling hangover that had you sitting down in the shower for 10 minutes too long. Then the most ingenious idea pops up in your head, “I’ll take the secret entrance off the I-17 so I can avoid campus traffic.” This is what someone would have thought about four years ago. Today… not so much. RIP secret I-17 entrance, we hardly knew ye. 

Whether you learned something or not The Black Sheep hopes you take this information and just say, “man do I remember the good old days.” For you incoming freshmen don’t worry, you’ll create your own memories on campus… but they won’t be as golden as the golden years. SORRY.

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