It’s safe to say we’ve all heard of the Hesburgh Challenge. With a long and storied history, tt has provided us with stories a-plenty: From Chet Finster, a 1975 Zahn freshman who, six floors in, fought, and lost to, a copy of War and Peace; to Rick Turlington, a 1976 Zahn freshman who, eleven floors in, achieved enlightenment and joined the Church of Scientology. These names will echo down through the millennia. However, let’s be real here, we’re all tired of the Hesburgh Challenge. Therefore, The Black Sheep, as the erstwhile trend-arbiter and occasional sensual lover of Notre Dame, presents these 19 challenges to replace the Hesburgh.
19.) The Forty-Forty:
For this challenge, a student must break into Notre Dame stadium, and chug two 40’s on each of the 40 yard lines.
18.) The Nanovic Challenge:
Daintily Sip a Sierra Mist inside Nanovic Hall 117. We are aware that’s a Sprite. It’s a Coke-Campus okay!
17.) Debartolo Challenge:
Drink a glass of Debart Water on each floor of the building. (Note: never successfully completed.)
16.) The Stepan Center Challenge:
Successfully enter and leave the Stepan Center without making yourself sad.
15.) Morrissey Mayhem:
Live in Morrissey for a year without contracting the black plague.
14.) Mendoza Madness:
Transfer into Mendoza, and feel the natural buzz that comes from squashing the dreams of the proletariat.
13.) Power Up:
Smoke a doob inside Turbine 3 of the Notre Dame Power Plant.
12.) The Froot-Loopy:
Eat four oranges that have fermented into alcohol in the basement of NDH.
11.) The Meth-Mouth Roadhouse:
Smoke three pipefuls of meth inside Father Jenkin’s actual house.
10.) Loam Under the Dome:
Break into the Golden Dome, and eat four mouthfuls of dirt without being caught.
9.) Glue Monday:
Huff a full bottle of airplane glue inside an airplane parked at South Bend airport.
8.) Punch Lady:
Start a dorm dance that includes a punch-bowl, and then punch someone in the face at said dance.
7.) Mary Mary Quite Contrary:
Take 17 shots of Jagermeister, then enroll in St. Mary’s.
6.) The Rector Selector:
Sell drugs to your Rector.
5.) The Rector Nectar:
Buy drugs from your Rector.
4.) The Rector Injector:
Do drugs with your Rector.
3.) The Colorado River Toad Underground Railroad:
Lick a hallucinogenic Colorado River Toad in a hole you dug yourself on Mod Quad.
2.) The ABP DMT NAACP:
This one is so obvious we don’t even need to explain it. Do five hits of DMT in front of the LaFun Martin Luther King Picture, while eating a Smoked Salmon Wasabi from ABP.
1.) Basilica of the Sacred Heart Challenge:
Go to mass and pray for forgiveness, you drug-addled peacenik.
Please go forth and complete the UPDATED Hesburgh Challenge, and when you do, send us pics @ BlackSheep_ND. Ty, lysm.
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