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Keenan Sophomore to Live Out Lifelong Fantasy of Dressing as a Woman in Front of Thousands of People

This Thursday, Friday and Saturday, Keenan Hall will host three showings of its signature event: The Keenan Revue. For most students on campus, the Revue will offer arguably mediocre but undeniably loud comedy and the opportunity to see the very beautiful Stepan Center’s even more beautiful inside.

For one Keenan resident, however, this year’s Revue will offer three prime opportunities to live out a closely held, voyeuristic fantasy.

Sophomore Patrick Wilkes was ecstatic to be cast in the featured role of “Welsh Fam Ho #2,” one of the three total female characters in the show. Wilkes stated that he much preferred the role to “Welsh Fam Ho #1” (who wears a brunette wig, while Wilkes prefers to be seen in blonde), but would have been satisfied to play the role of “Slutty Nun,” easily the most developed and nuanced female character in the Revue.

“The Revue is a great way to foster brotherhood within Keenan and is really the center of our social calendar. Zip me up, bro?” Mr. Wilkes said,  already dressed in the lacey black pleather corset and leopard print mini skirt he had picked out for the show. “You can never have too many dress rehearsals, right dude?” he asked as he unrolled a fresh pair of fishnet stockings up his hairy legs.

Wilkes was preparing to go to one of the daily parties hosted in Keenan this week. He related that he had worn his stage outfit to nearly every party since the beginning of the semester.

“It’s a really good way to get people talking about the show. I love it when people stare at me and I can just tell they’re thinking about the Revue.” Wilkes continued, adding that “Welsh Fam Ho #2” is his dream role, but he is not content to sit around as a passive actor.

“I had them write in five costume changes, so that the audience can laugh at me in as many different outfits as possible. I even wrote my own scene where I get punched to the floor and then all the guys come on stage and call me every horrible name they can think of… I think it’ll get a good reaction from the audience… all those thousands of people laughing at how embarrassed I am… in my skirt…”

Mr. Wilkes eyes glazed over at this point in the interview and shortly afterward he excused himself to the restroom. After he had not returned for over half an hour, the interview was concluded.

If you are interested in seeing Patrick Wilkes’ performance, be sure to make it to one of the three Keenan Revue showings this week or contact him on his social media account at


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