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Notre Dame Mechanical Engineer Gives Up and Just Does Consulting

As Notre Dame seniors scramble to line up job interviews, reports show more than half of the mechanical engineering majors in the Class of 2018 have decided to apply to jobs at Deloitte, EY, PWC, and KPMG. Even though the fresh crop of seniors dedicated their entire sophomore and junior years to late nights at Fitz, many ultimately decided that it was all a waste.


John McMahon, one of the mechanical engineers who just interviewed with Deloitte, spoke about the issue:


“I wish I could go back in time and tell freshman year me to drop Intro to Engineering and switch to Mendoza,” McMahon said, shaking his head in shame. “I could have actually met girls and spent every Wednesday at Salsa’s.”

McMahon, through tears, continued:


“I suffered through Mechanics and Heat Transfer, just to pursue a career where it’s not even necessary to have taken Gen Chem. A complete waste of my time.”


McMahon, attempting to prevent future engineers from making the same mistake, decided to warn some while giving a talk to their Intro to Engineering class, telling them their best bet was to join the esteemed school of business.


“Sell yourself to become just another university statistic and start pronouncing finance like ‘fah-nance.’ Just give up now. Stryker will barely hire any of you; it’s time to focus on Accenture,” McMahon urged.


Jason O’Brien, another senior mechanical engineer who accepted a job at PWC, added, “Every Notre Dame student knows that Notre Dame only cares about two things: football and Mendoza. Engineers, especially mechanical engineers, will just waste four years of intense studying to do a job that a marketing major could do while absolutely hammered. I spent so many Thursday nights trying to finish my 3-page lab reports for Solids. I could have been at Feve.”


O’Brien shook his head sadly and continued:


“I gave up my entire college career to study, when I could have just been a Mendoza Bro and drank my way through while still walking out with a six-figure job,” McMahon said. “I don’t even think my parents are proud of me.”

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