The University of Notre Dame prides itself on being a campus where students have access to water of the highest quality in order to nourish their growing minds, encourage them to be a force for good, and stay awake during their second theo. The following are some of the best places to fill up your water bottle on campus.
10.) DeBartolo Hall:
The brown water Snapchat filter isn’t for nothing. DeBart is famous campus-wide for its especially delicious water. No one knows exactly what they put in the H2O to make it taste so…unique…but what we don’t know can’t hurt us, right?
Has your doctor told you that you are iron-deficient? Try the water from O’Shag! The pipes that carry the agua are purposely engineered to infuse the water with the maximum amount of minerals and heavy metals. No need to take supplements anymore.
8.) Dining hall soda fountains:
North and South Dining Hall are both excellent places to fill up your glass with “filtered water.” If you’re lucky, you’ll get the remnants of someone else’s Coca-Cola in your cup. Extra flavor without the guilt of filling your entire glass up with a tooth-decaying soft drink. This way you can justify being unhealthy by insisting that it wasn’t technically your fault.
7.) The Rock:
Taste the rich tradition and history of Notre Dame athletics through the antiquated pipes of the Rockne Memorial Gymnasium. With our football season still going well, this is the perfect time to relish our school’s athletic success by drinking from the fountains that carry water that has been stored since the building’s opening in 1937.
6.) Overpriced SmartWater from Au Bon Pain:
Students of the Membroza (sorry, Mendoza) School of Business attribute their corporate success solely to SmartWater, which they claim “improves your GPA” and is “definitely is not a hoax.” Marketing majors agree that adding the word “smart” to almost any product will not only increase its sales by the percent that the Mendoza curve sabotages students’ grades, but will, just by its name, produce positive results. Climate change is a myth, so you should have no qualms about using a new disposable water bottle every day.
Stonehenge is a favorite natural spring on campus. Since the fountain is constantly in motion, this water is always guaranteed fresh. Fall is peak season for Stonehenge water, because it is filled with autumn leaves that give it a flavor that rivals Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Save Flex Points; choose Stonehenge over Starbucks!
4.) St Mary’s Lake:
Once a year, Fisher boys jump into this lake for their traditional regatta. Because of this, drinking the water from the lake is akin to taking fish oil supplements; you know it looks kind of gross, but you consume it anyway, because your mom says it’s good for you.
3.) The Reflecting Pool:
Instead of adding MiO droplets to flavor your beverage, try filling up your reusable bottle with the dyed water from the Reflecting Pool! This colored water may stain your teeth and tongue green, but remember that this is only temporary, while Notre Dame pride is forever.
2.) Random Puddles on the Sidewalk:
You know when it rains at Notre Dame and suddenly there are puddles that block a whole sidewalk? That isn’t just the school trying to get you to walk on God Quad so you’ll fail theology, or spending money on new auxiliary campus structures instead of just building a proper drainage system–the real purpose of those puddles is to provide the student body with nutritious, clean drinking water!
1.) Club Hes
Fun fact: The water fountains at the Notre Dame Library source their water directly from the tear ducts of distressed students who cry regularly on the thirteenth floor. This is the purest form of hydration on Notre Dame’s campus, because you are quenching your thirst at the expense of your fellow Domers. All in the spirit of friendly academic competition.