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So You Failed Miserably at All of Your Auditions at NYU, Now What?

So, you’re a freshman. You’ve auditioned for basically everything possible; a cappella, theater, comedy acts, that weird independent film your friend is making . . . and even after all of those auditions, you still got cut. But it’s okay, because people fail all the time, right? It’s fine, basically everyone at NYU is already a Columbia reject anyway. So if you’re in need of some support, here are five reasons why it’s totally fine that you’re failing your art.

A Cappella isn’t even real, so who cares they didn’t let you in:
Just ask Chris Fleming: a cappella isn’t real, anymore. The Sing Off got cancelled, and Nick Lachay and Ben Folds couldn’t even save the art of singing without instruments. Right now as you sit in Downstein, you think nothing could compare to the mind-numbing amounts of “dums” and “da das” you’d be doing in the N’Tapes, but fear not. It’ll be okay.

NYU shows aren’t that great, anyway:
Despite our mountainous tuition costs, the average budget given to an NYU theatrical production is negative two-hundred fifty dollars! A set? Forget-about-it! Props?? Hope you studied MIME before you studied theatre! Be honest with yourself: you don’t need that show. You’re no downtown theatre bitch. You’re a Bette Midler, NOT a Marina Abramovic.

Even the greats didn’t start out great:
Aziz Ansari majored in biology & business – you’re FINE! Apparently you don’t need college extracurriculars to become one of America’s favorite comedians and actors.

Tisch people end up selling tacos:
Not everyone ends up where you think they’re going to. Otto Cedeno who graduated from Tisch film in 2007 runs a taco business, so maybe you’re more set out for a career in tacos! Taco theatre?! Theatrical tacos?! Who knows! Be a downtown theatre bitch!! Do it!

You have NYU connections:
Once, there was a show right outside of NYU with a guy that said a casting director told him that when se sees “NYU” on someone’s resume he throws the resume in the trash! Apparently, he wants to to avoid a big-ego alongside mediocre talent. So don’t worry! The people that are getting the parts in front of you; their resumes are going in the trash!

Fuck that means yours is too. Guess were all gonna be downtown theatre bitches now.

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