Drinking when you’re not supposed to is always fun…until it’s not. And rarely is it not. But when you get caught and suddenly become convinced that you’re about to be expelled from NYU, it can certainly kill your buzz. But getting caught isn’t (always) that bad! Trust us, we know from experience. Here’s what actually happens when you get caught playing beer pong in a Third North living room:
5.) Your RA steals all of your alcohol:
You may think that you were being a genius when you hid that bottle of Svedka in the empty cereal box behind your toilet, but RAs are trained for this. They know how to sniff out and confiscate any bit of alcohol you have, which really ruins the night.
4.) You will have to meet with your RHAD or RHD:
They’re not necessarily scary people. They’re usually just young adults trying to make your res-life experience better. But they get really fed up with having to yell at teens every weekend about why they shouldn’t shotgun Four Lokos on a Wednesday night.
3.) You’ll have to take an alcohol education course:
You’ll spend all day on a Saturday talking about how bad drinking is. And then they’ll force you to pretend that you believe what they’re saying. You’ll promise to never even look at the Satan’s nectar ever again (well, at least not until next weekend) and be forced to do some weird creative project or an essay as to why alcohol is so very bad.
2.) You will get sent to the hospital (maybe!!):
If your RA so much as hears you sneeze after she knows you’ve been drinking, expect an ambulance to come wee-woo at your door. Even if you’re not technically dying, NYU is not trying to be held liable. Then they tell your parents about what happened and make you go to therapy. Honestly…it’s a fucking hassle. Don’t lose your booze (or do it privately because better out than in, tbh).
1.) You will be paranoid forever:
Cracking open a cold one with the boys becomes a lot harder when you’re convinced that your bro is an FBI agent in disguise. NYU knows how to make you paranoid, and though their methods may not stop you from drinking (which honestly, you’ll probably still drink after), you will be determined to be a little quieter about it next time.
So, is dorm drinking really worth it? Probably not. We recommend getting a fake and just coming home drunk because then they won’t really bother you…usually. Do what you want, but don’t be dumb about it, and we promise you won’t get expelled.
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