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The Inner Thoughts of a PreMed Student vs. An English Major at NYU

As finals season approaches, we at The Black Sheep took a moment to recognize that NYU’s trillion different schools and majors lead to a trillion different types of stress. Staying inside the confines of the lovely College of Arts and Sciences (aka PreMeds) we listened to the thoughts of two students: a PreMed Chem major and an English major on the Creative Writing track.

Our local PreMed student, preferring to remain anonymous, has more finals than nearly anyone they know, largely because finding another NYU science kid is like finding a unicorn. We accompanied them on their way to Bobst to hear their thoughts as they prepare to study.

“Why the hell am I doing this?” they asked rhetorically. “I am a Chem major and I literally am failing Chem. Like I should have gone to Stern; I don’t even like science. Oh, but I know what to do!” a thought struck them as we neared the crosswalk. “I’ll cross the street now even though it says don’t walk and hopefully I’ll get hit…or arrested for jaywalking or something. I don’t care, I just don’t want to take this Bio final!” At this point, they stopped in front of a car, whose driver responded with rich profanities and lots of honking. After some coaxing, they continued towards the library.

Still, they grumbled: “What do atoms have to do with medicine anyway? What if I don’t get into med school? Then I’m stuck with this degree; I should have gone to Stern. Fuck NYU anyway with their high tuition. I can’t drop out now I already wasted two years and over 100k. Time to spend my last 5 meal swipes on Pete’s espressos and study Chem until I die…then revive myself to start studying Bio.”

And after that optimistic stream, we headed over to chat with our chosen English major, who faced similar existential crises about the onslaught of finals. They shared their thoughts on their upcoming papers and bleak future.

“I can’t believe I picked the Creative Writing track. Now I have to write a ten page story due by tomorrow!” they exclaimed desperately. “Should I name my character Nicole or something exotic…like Nicolé but with an accent.” But the projects didn’t end there: “I have to memorize the first act of Macbeth still. Why is that necessary? Like truly when will that benefit me in the future? I suppose that depends on my future job…HA! What future job? What do English majors even do in the future? Naturally, I want to be a published author, but I don’t even think I would want to publish my writing. Having no finals is cool, but having 4 final papers that are all ten pages isn’t. Should I have been Premed? Chem went alright in high school…I mean I didn’t fail. But I did get a 1 on the AP Chem test. Best stick to Shakespeare.”


Like booze before noon? So do these guys…


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