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NYU Blackout Leaves Students “Shook” In The Dark

NYU students were left “shook” and in the dark when a blackout occurred at 1:30 p.m. yesterday. The outage occurred in Bobst, Tisch Hall, and Shimkin Hall, a.k.a the welcome center that no one knew had a name. Many classes were still in session, and while some professors let students go early, some stayed behind to finish very important assignments.

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“We were in the middle of making books,” The Black Sheep writer Brooks Fassett, who was one of the students in Bobst at the time, said. “We all had needles and scissors and shit, and the power went out.”

According to both NYU Local and the Washington Square News, along with the power outage, Bobst also leaked suspicious black, poop-like substances from the ceiling and walls. It was literally raining shit on students, as if the 70K a year and pressures of NYC weren’t enough.

This mysterious sludge seeping out of the walls and ceilings was actually debris from a clogged drain that leaked, according to NYU officials. The damaged drain was not for sewage purposes and had nothing to do with power outage, apparently. Seems a bit fishy to us, but what do we know about NYU infrastructure? Bobst birthing strange goop wouldn’t be the first unusual thing to ever happen there, and will probably not be the last.

However, not all students got to experience first hand the sludge destroying where their tuition money goes. Some were just merely afraid of the dark.

“This really annoying girl that sits behind me started screaming that she was afraid of the dark,” Fassett explained after eventually leaving Bobst after her class did not realize that everyone was being evacuated. “She kept asking if we could get out of here, making it sound like we would be trapped there forever with an axe murderer.”

Students were evacuated from Bobst at around 1:45, but not until the sludge monster took their souls and Valentine’s Day chocolate. Now while power was restored as of last night, there is still no word on what caused the blackout in the first place, but we at The Black Sheep have some ideas.

1.) It’s an elaborate plan to milk more money out of students for repairs and emotional compensation.

2.) It was a bunch of Sternies getting back at the University for taking away their Wifi.

3.) It really was caused by the shared misery of singles studying in Bobst instead of going out, hooking up, or just having a Valentine to celebrate with.

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