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NYU Student Store Hires Tattoo Artist So You Can “Bleed Violet Forever”

In an unprecedented move to increase NYU’s reputation as a woke, hipster liberal arts school while still taking your parents’ hard earned cash, the student store has hired its very first tattoo artist. Tisch alumni and design major, Erica Zhong, will set up shop in the back of the store, between the shelves J-K. Specials include your graduation year in Roman numerals, the coordinates of the Washington Square Arch, Greek letters, and the pattern of the Bobst lobby floor.

Stern freshman and student athlete, Jordan Cook, was the artist’s first customer.

“It doesn’t hurt at all,” he said, constantly flexing as Zhong tattooed “I AM STERN” across his chest. “I’m definitely coming back if wrestling wins NCAA champs this year. Gotta commemorate the grind amiright?” He smiled amidst cheers from his Lambda Chi brothers, devotedly Snapchatting the milestone event. 

Gallatin junior, Swathi Potter, also jumped at the chance to get a tattoo, and in true interdisciplinary fashion consulted both Pinterest and Instagram for inspiration, making up a design herself.

“This in an infinity sign with NYU in cursive as part of the outline. Isn’t it original?” she asked as she held up the inside of her wrist. “I was a little worried about the $200 price tag, but you can keep it forever and it’s basically the same cost as a sweatshirt and baseball cap. It should get a lot of likes on Instagram too, so I would say it’s worth it and I’ll definitely be leaving five stars on Yelp.”

A writer at The Black Sheep interviewed Zhong, who was so booked that she could only answer questions while on the job.

“The designs haven’t been difficult because a lot of people want the same thing,” she said as she outlined “New York” in Chinese characters. “Tramp stamps have been making a surprising comeback, probably because of the school’s obsession with dressing like they’re from the 2000’s.”

Wiping away excess ink, she continued, “Do I regret leaving my old studio? I’m under contract to say no, but yesterday someone tried to pay me in meal swipes. I’m not a starving senior.”

Her last client of the day was Class Activities Board member Harrison Franco, who has served on a school council every year since he was in the sixth grade.

“If they had this in high school I could have totally won most spirited, but I’m glad it’s here now because I wouldn’t want to end my college career any other way. I’ve been bleeding violet for four years, and now I can literally do it!”

Like booze before noon? So do these guys: 

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