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We Ranked NYU’s Dining Halls Based on How Good the Music Is

Vegans have their very own hub in Lipton, and Palladium’s sushi section makes it super easy for people to eat raw fish. It’s generally pretty easy to find something you enjoy on the meal plan. Food aside, what’s often overlooked (yet holds critical importance in determining the overall success of one’s dining experience), is the music. We’ve ranked the playlists at some of the most popular NYU dining halls so you don’t waste your swipes:

6.) Third North:
Exactly what you would expect from Third North, a scattered and boring playlist. You can’t just mix 80s ballads and early 2000s singer-songwriter stuff and pretend it’s okay. We’re pretty sure this dining hall found a way to shuffle Spotify’s entire library. But let’s be real, the only reason you’re eating here is because you live in the residence hall, so you’re definiely used to general mediocrity. Bottom line: Be better.

5.) Starbucks on West 4th:
There’s quite possibly nothing more ~superficially indie~ than a NYU specific Starbucks. Prepare your cochlea for an onslaught of girls with guitars who just can’t seem to keep from romanticizing mental illness and fabricating heartbreak over boys they talked to on Tinder. For some added fun, spike your overpriced almond milk chai latte with Bailey’s and drink every time you see someone in a beanie whip open their Shazam.

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4.) Kimmel:
Swelling with the sounds of a top 40 radio station at 3 a.m. Ya know, the hour when they let their intern play his remixes cause he swears he has clout on SoundCloud. Kimmel will shamelessly take any quasi popular pop song from the past ten years, up the tempo, and throw a shitty electro drum loop on top all whilst swiping you twice because your salad is too big to qualify as a side. The only thing that could make you more uncomfortable than listening to a “Take Me To Church” club mix is navigating the moral dilemma you experience after willingly purchasing one of “Grandma’s Classic Egg Salad Sandwiches”.    

3.) Lipton:
Don’t get me wrong, if “Mr. Brightside” or “September” comes on and anyone’s B.A.C. is over .04 chances are you’ll find them singing (read: screaming) atop an elevated surface… (especially if they’re not a soulless fucking monster and also caucasian.) But after hearing your third Madonna song before you’ve even finished your vegan oatmeal raisin cookie, you’ll somehow start to comprehend why the dining hall has a C Health Rating. Honestly, Lipton’s got bigger problems than their Spotify playlist right now, seeing as though rats are basically subletting the kitchen.

2.) Upstein:
Upstein has the pregame playlist of 17 year old white girl named Rebecca. It’s mostly a mix of early 2000s throwbacks and current pop music except for some reason the base is boosted a solid 200%. This is a good thing. You don’t just hear Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten”… you feel it.

1.) Palladium:
The music at Palladium is consistently superior, but we knew this. Expect to hear lots of modern hip-hop, pop that isn’t utter trash, and occasionally a solid throwback or two. There’s not much else to say here but to be honest, if you disagree with this you’re a fucking idiot and we will steal your swipes for having such dishonorable thoughts.

Our ears suffered so yours didn’t have to. However, we do suggest you carry an emergency set of headphones with you before entering any NYU dining hall. You can never be too careful.

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