NEW YORK, NY– A Steinhardt sophomore reportedly became “that guy” after one beer at a Halloween party this past weekend. Screaming, “Woohoo!” every thirty seconds for no apparent reason, the NYU sophomore singlehandedly became the talk-of-the- party for the rest of the night.
“Have you seen Dave? He’s all over Jenna acting super wasted, and we all know he’s only had like half a can of beer,” a fellow party-goer said at the scene of the crime. It was reported that Jenna was not having any of it, and had to hide in the bathroom for 20 minutes while Dave pretended to drunk-search for her.
After about an hour of Dave pretending to drunkenly fall over, the party of about 40 people came to a consensus– act like he’s completely sober and not intoxicated in the slightest.
“Guys this party is LITTT, and do you like my monkey costume?” one witness reports he asked.
“I just asked him what classes he’s taking next semester,” he told us. “And he was so thrown off, he just said ‘Intro to Computer Music.’ And he tried this whole fake drunken eye roll, but we all just stared at him exasperatedly.”
When questioned about the news, Dave gave The Black Sheep his own account of the night and his actions: “I am never ‘that guy’, and I don’t even know what that even means to be honest. I’m a lightweight; what can I say?” Dave explained.
The rest of the world doesn’t believe you Dave, and it ain’t cool.
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