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‘All the Famous Ones Dropped Out Anyway,’ Says Tisch Student Unfazed by Midterms

Drama major Stephanie Klöenstein, who has been noted by many to have remained unnaturally calm throughout the past few weeks of testing, is not at all concerned about his midterms, stating, “everybody who makes it big drops out anyway.”

“Yeah, I just feel like tests aren’t that big of a deal in an art school you know? Lady Gaga didn’t graduate, and neither did Kristen Bell, or Paul Thomas Anderson,” Klöenstein bragged. I’m just like them: a true visionary who doesn’t need to worry about classes!”

Klöenstein went on to note how the all the degrees that notable NYU dropouts had were “just pity BAs” and that “they were only given to guilt them into donating to the school.” Her words have started resonating around campus, and many other Tisch students have started to come forward in agreement with her.

“The grades we get are just so meaningless anyway. Like, George plays one note slightly louder than me and deserves an A for that? Come on, we all know it’s just because his sister died and not because he’s actually more talented!”

Both Techmite and Klöenstein have been vocal supporters of a new campaign to abolish grades in all Tisch departments and instead have them replaced with “artistically encouraging symbols”.

The page for the petition makes note that while “[they] don’t have a problem with ‘traditional’ grading systems” they simply believe that telling a student that their work was “as bright and complex as Prince’s name for that one period in the 90s is much more constructive than giving them a B.”

Asked why they support the campaign, Techmite and Klöenstein both referenced the ways that it would better prepare art students for the reality of the industry they were hoping to break into.

“All those famous dropouts, they only did it because they thought that they’d be able to learn more in the real world than in school, right?” said Techmite. “What better way to prepare students for the soul-crushing randomness and complexities of the commercial art world than by giving them completely arbitrary, meaningless, and impossible-to-parse out symbols for their work?”

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