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Tisch Security Guard Loses Staring Contest to NYU ID

New York, NY– At approximately 8:55 a.m. Wednesday morning, an NYU Public Safety officer reportedly lost a staring contest with a sophomore’s ID at the Tisch School of the Arts’ entrance. The Public Safety officer, who would like to remain anonymous, says that, “It’s all part of the job.”

The contest began when the NYU sophomore entered Tisch to make it to his 9 a.m. lecture. Reports say that when the Public Safety officer asked to see his ID, he immediately prepared for the showdown.

One student reports, “He tilted his head every way to align his face with the card’s face. And then his head moved with the ID’s, maintaining eye contact. But he blinked just a millisecond before the kid got in the elevator.”

The Black Sheep spoke to the Public Safety officer about his loss.

“You know, I see thousands of IDs a day, and I’m usually very good. I’m off my game. I really think I need to start going to sleep earlier, or maybe start sleeping to begin with. And, out of all the Tisch Public Safety officers, I used to be top dog. From 2008-2013, I was 2,634,843-12,394 [2,634,843 Wins and 12,394 Losses]. But now, now I’m nothing.”

He also commented on the strategy of the game, saying, “If you can hold your stare until the ID is in the elevator, you got a win. If not, you lose. The trick is to think of something else to distract you from not blinking. I usually think of a nice steak dinner, or a big bag of Funyuns. Other officers think of their families I guess,” he concluded.

The next time you find your ID being held at eye point with a public safety officer, throw them off their game. Try talking to them, wave your ID around, cover your face on the card, snap in their face, or sprint through the lobby. Let’s give them all something to fight for.

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