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Upstein Salad Worker Getting Really Tired of Doing Nothing

NEW YORK, NY– “You can get salads at Upstein?” is a common phrase heard around NYU’s campus. This unknown perk of your pricy NYU meal plan is negatively affecting the student body’s health, but most of all– Cesiah. Cesiah is routinely the salad station employee, and when not acting on double-duty as Jamba Juice chef, she is “hella bored”.

“I’m just bored, you know? I mean, I’m getting paid the same as everyone else here but all I do is swap out the vegetables every couple hours even though they haven’t been touched,” said Cesiah. “These granola NYU kids think they’re so woke and they don’t even realize how much food they’re wasting cause they’re going to Chick-fil-A.”

Just Salad, Chopt, Sweetgreen, and fresh&co are all within 4 blocks of each other as well as Upstein, which seems to be another factor aiding in Cesiah’s boredom. Most people walk right by the salad station not even giving it a second thought.

“Salad bar? Oh I thought that was the vegetable storage for real meals,” said freshman Aaron Thomas.

A solution to this lack of salad station knowledge? A large salad sign right when you walk into Upstein. There’s no competition currently with Chick-fil-A, and it should be an even fight. 

Until these issue is resolved, Cesiah will be bored, alone, and in need of a salad to make. 

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