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6 Things You Fool Yourself Into Believing about Ohio State

 

Ohio State is fucking great. It’s rightfully earned the title of the best damn school in the land for god’s sake. But let’s be honest; while many grow up dreaming of going to a school half as awesome as OSU, it’s easy to overlook the many lies we tell ourselves to continue convincing ourselves and others into believing that Ohio State is in fact the best school on the planet. Here’s a list of 6 dirty little lies we all fool ourselves into believing about OSU:

 

6.) Being a Pre-Med Student Isn’t That Bad:
Every pre-med student wants to believe that they’re cut out to be the next Meredith Grey of the real world or they’ll find the cure to cancer. Unfortunately, every pre-med student at Ohio State has grossly underestimated the amount of torture they’ll endure along the way. Still, even after being bent over and violated by the OSU Chemistry department on nearly every O Chem exam, these kids never seem to lose faith and firmly stand by their choice to become future doctors of America.

 

5.) High Street Won’t Be Totally Lame Next Year:
High Street’s bar scene has been bursting at the seams with a variety of mediocre bars for college kids of all ages to indulge in for years. However with the recent changes of scenery taking place it’s hard to imagine what life will be like without beloved watering holes like The O and Too’s. Yet somehow students are still holding on to a glimmer of hope that OSU’s nightlife won’t be totally tragic with half of High Street gone next year. Let’s face it: getting drunk as we know it will never be the same without tidal waves and liquid dope.

 

4.) Brutus is More Than Just a Poisonous Nut:
Everyone loves their college mascot, but OSU fans especially love Brutus. Brutus Buckeye could axe murder a room of newborn babies and somehow Ohio State students would still cheer him on and document his every move on Snapchat. Why millions have people have come to believe that Brutus is more than a literal tree nut remains unknown. Brutus is more than a personified inanimate object that is far less intimidating than any other college mascot. He’s Brutus dammit.

 

3.) Bullwinkles Isn’t That Ratchet:
Whether you’re recapping your night out with your roommates the morning after or explaining to your friends back home about that bar trying to imitate a club on campus it’s hard to not sound tragic. Yet Bulls is loved by many at Ohio State; mainly those who are able to overlook the mass dance-floor-make-outs, bull decor, and lack of pleasing aesthetics. In all honesty though, it is easy to fool yourself into thinking that Bullwinkles isn’t that bad once you’re 10 bombs deep and thirsty for another desperate soul to canoodle with.

 

2.) The Construction on Campus Will be Finished By Next Year:
Every year OSU schemes up an elaborate plan to improve the look of campus, and every year that plan takes twice as long to execute than originally promised. Most students don’t even know what North Campus even looks like without neon orange pylons and fences blocking your every move. The countless claims about a deadline made by the university make it easy to think construction is coming to an end soon, even when it’s next to impossible to focus on your exam thanks to the numerous buildings being bulldozed outside of your classroom window.

 

1.) We’ll Win The National Championship Next Time:
We were spoiled two years ago when Cardale lead us to an unforgettable win over Oregon making us the first ever #NattyChamps in CFP history. Since then, it’s hard not to convince yourself that we WILL win again in the near future. Tough loss after tough loss, OSU fans near and far never lose faith that we will come out on top again, and again, and again.

 

OSU may have its extremely minor flaws, but always remember: at least you don’t go to Michigan.

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