It’s football season, which means it’s block season once again. Freshmen girls, get ready to pull out your jerseys with nothing underneath, your unnecessarily short shorts, Converse high-tops, and fanny packs from PINK. Guys, start rushing ASAP because there is absolutely no chance of you getting into block unless you’re a frat boy. It’s our favorite time of year, and The Black Sheep wants to make sure the freshmen don’t ruin it for all of us:
5.) Make The Frat Boys Your Friends:
We know this is borderline torture, but it’ll be so worth it when you’re at block with a Natty in one hand, and a cup of Four Loko in the other. All you have to do is look for the boys with colorful shorts and Greek life shirts, show some cleavage, and offer them help with their homework. Before you know it, you’ll be block hopping all Saturday.
4.) Get Your Hands on Cheek Stickers:
This is an absolute must, for girls at least. Your face should be totally decked out in Ohio State-themed stickers that by Urban Meyer’s grace are able to be used over and over again. People on your Snap won’t believe you were even at block if you don’t look the part. Honestly, we’re not even sure the guys are totally ruled out of this equation. We have a feeling that they have a ton of stickers covering their asses on game day…
3.) Go Apeshit With The Scissors On Every Single Ohio State Apparel You Own:
Girls, it is extremely important that no matter how cold it is, you better have either short shorts, ripped jeans, or leggings on. No exceptions. From there, you can get a little creative. If for some reason you’re not a modern-day Betsy Ross, seek out the Pinterest-obsessed girl on your floor who will cut your shirts and sweatshirts for you to make crop tops with crisscrosses, strings, or the classic v-neck with collar still attached. If these options are too wild for you, there’s always the choice of the tried but true bralette with a jersey. Don’t worry: the alcohol will always help to warm you up. Guys have it easy, just buy some coral-colored shorts and wear them with any Ohio State jersey. (And they say girls are “basic.”)
2.) Pregame: The Early Bird Gets The
Worm Best Alcohol:
You could be the first person to show up at a frat block party, and we promise that the guys will already be plastered AF. If you show up sober at any point, it won’t be fun, and it’ll be hard to enjoy. If you pregame though, all that Four Loko will go down sooooo much easier. Before you know it, you’ll be dancing with Chad Brody on the raised platform to “Look What You Made Me Do.” You might be nearing Taylor Swift’s level of patheticness, but by now you should be too drunk to care. We suggest shots of shitty K because it’s cheap and we’re all broke college students.
1.) Get Drunk As Hell:
The entire point of block is to drink until you can’t even walk properly. If you don’t fall off of the raised platform AT LEAST once, then you’re doing it all wrong. Nobody likes the buzzkill who takes a few sips of Natty every 20 minutes and isn’t even buzzed by game time. Better yet, sell your ticket and just stay at block because you’ll make money and get drunk longer. Drinks at block are free and unlimited, unlike at the ‘Shoe, where you can get one drink per ID (eye roll).
Block szn is the best time of year, and our little baby freshmen need to prepare for the greatest Saturdays of their lives. Here’s to sloppy drunk frat boys who host trashy (but fun) parties, and GO BUCKS!