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Oh! Apparently Ohio State Hockey Made the Frozen Four, Cool

Supposedly the OSU hockey team competed in the Frozen Four Thursday night.

“What?” third-year Brock Hockins asked, completely surprised that Ohio State has a sports team besides football that wins stuff. “It’s spring—hockey’s still on?”

Students across campus are racking their brains as to how Ohio State can celebrate sportsball that doesn’t involve the ‘ol pigskin and getting absolutely plastered via lackluster beer.

“Where was the pregame? Where was block? Did Jessica go? What did she wear????” Haley Stuart demanded, unaware that she missed a grand opportunity to wear her Clothing Underground originals to an event where boys would be. “If she wore her fucking cropped, bleached off-the-shoulder 2014 National Championship T-shirt-made-tank, then we’re not friends anymore.”

The word on the street was that Ohio State hockey played against the Minnesota-Duluth, wherever the fuck that is. It has been speculated that the location of the competing team hails from Canada.

Marcus Jones, second-year biology major, said that he was able to get two free tickets after someone begged him to take them off their hands.

“Yeah, I went to the game,” Jones admitted, embarrassment showing in the form of pink to his cheeks and shoved hands in his pockets. “It was kinda cool showing some support for the little guys at OSU, though.”

Jones reported that “…it was a cool opportunity to see OSU play against an international team” and that “he was really hungry for pancakes and maple syrup after the game.”

“We went to a Waffle House afterwards to celebrate,” Jones said. “Yeah, the Bucks lost, but we did it to get the feel of where the sport hailed from and to respect the winners of the match.”

Some fans said the Buckeyes lost 2-1 to the opposing Canadian team in its first Frozen Four game since 1998. 

“Frozen Four? Dang, I’m really behind on the news,” said Ashley Gibbons, a fourth-year neuroscience major . “I didn’t even know they made a Frozen 2 yet! I’ll have to binge that so that I can watch the Frozen Four and know what’s going on.”

Reports say that fans were “bummed” the first few minutes after the initial lost, but then quickly got over it and redirected their attention towards football’s spring game next weekend.


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