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Scientologist Attempting To Convert Students On The Oval Unmasked To Be Omnipotent Lizard Being

Panic struck last Tuesday on The Oval when one student inadvertently unleashed a DemiGod in our midst while attempting to win an argument with a religious zealot.

Political science major, Dan Marx, makes a habit of engaging with the preachers on The Oval. However, when confronted by one particularly aggressive scientologist, things got heated. The two “men” got into a pushing match, in which Marx accidentally unzipped the man’s skin. The thin costume peeled off to reveal a winged reptilian being with tentacles for a mouth.

The creature used, what eyewitnesses report to be, psychic abilities, freezing all onlookers with in the blink of an eye. This powerful being then proceeded to launch itself into the air and fly away, however not before gurgling the phrase, “Bring me Archbishop Cruise!”

Many students have reported seeing an unidentified flying object circling campus ever since. Authorities are at a loss for how to approach the situation.

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