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A Judgmental Seating Chart of The Shoe

 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…FOOTBALL season. As Natty Lights and scarlet crop tops dance in your head, prep yourself with football section knowledge before the next home game. Though it may all seem like the Mean Girls cafeteria at first, The Black Sheep is here to be your Janice to give you a jumpstart to your way around ‘da Shoe.

 

ohio-stadium

 

Block O South:
In middle school, these were the kids who injured themselves in P.E. class trying to save one fuckin’ dodge ball, but now they’re the self-medicated hermits who camp out in front of their computer every year two days in advance in the countdown to get tickets in Block O South. If you’re a REAL Buckeye, you’ll stand the entire time and scream until you sound like your old Aunt Carla who’s been smoking for 40 years. Now that’s dedication.

 

Block O North:
NOT to be confused with Block O South, these kids like a little balance in their life of wild and chill whilst slowly but surely climbing their way up the Buckeye-fandom ladder. They sit right above the away team’s band so there’s usually some beefin’, but other than that you can still feel the love.

 

AA-Deck:
With two extremes to the section, chances are you’re either a super senior body painted head to toe, or you’re in The Best Damn Band in the Land. Either way, if you’re one of the lucky bastards on the turf, you’re living every Buckeye’s dream. Being on the ground, you’ll probably BFFs with Urban, Shelley, Brutus…you know, the gang.

 

A and B-Deck:
The deck with the most community, space is limited with a hodgepodge of #new2osu freshman mixed with upperclassmen. Everyone is welcome in these decks, along with drunken parents. Nothing’s better than showing up to the game completely blasted with your mommy and daddy, and A and B-Deck is completely accepting of this, and even encourages it. So bring along your witty wine mom to the game and let her outshine you in every aspect of your social life. It’ll be fun!!

 

C-deck:
You can touch the sky (literally) being in C-deck and that’s okay, bud. Buckeyes out on the field who you gape at when you get the lucky chance of seeing in public who make your boyfriend self-conscious of his height and weight look like your Barbie dolls or ants-whatever you connect with better. Take advantage of the fact that there’s more room to breathe in C-deck, so if you want to black out right then and there in the stands, you have that option, bro.

 

Wherever you end up on Saturday, remember the most important thing of all: we’ll all be drunk together, as a Buckeye family.

 

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