HallOUween: The one time a year for students and non-students to get drunk off of Busch Lights that look like pumpkins, and to stumble up and down Court Street seeing how your costume looks like absolute shit compared to others. OU Block Party is one of the biggest parties in the country, so it’s about time you put in the effort to really show you care. How about these really shitty Halloween costumes?
5.) An obsolete OU alumni Vine celebrity:
We’ve all heard of him, we all hate him, and we’re all ashamed to even call him one of our own Ohio kin. Here’s what you’ll need to accomplish his douche-tastic look: some VERY expensive clothes from a brand that Kanye might’ve dissed once, some ironic headgear, one of those hoverboard things, and (WE CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH) some kind of tropical-flavored electronic vape pen. Don’t forget to record live video (vlog style) as you peruse the spirited streets of uptown Athens, laying waste to all that is pure and respectful!
4.) An overdue notice from BlackBoard:
Has this semester already taken a big heaping shit over your sense of self worth and motivation? Girl, saaaaaaame. It’s about that time when we just totally give up. It happens every semester and it’s absolutely inevitable. Now YOU can scare all of your straight-laced friends this Halloween with this spooooky scarrry costume! You could even customize it with your very own schedule! Three overdue assignments from COMM101? YIKES.
3.) An Athens Block:
How many of you assholes have stolen a helpless Athens Block? You know that’s vandalism, right? Ever heard of “obstruction of property”? Well, if you’re so in love with your precious little brick, why don’t you just BE one?!?! Now you can! One thing though…maybe avoid the face paint. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but as soon as you want to take off that big sweaty costume, the safety of context disappears. Let’s try and avoid the hate crimes, people.
2.) A big bad meter maid:
She lurks in the shadows of Honda Accords. She peers from the rear-view mirrors of a Toyota Camry. She waits to strike from behind your Ford Explorer. This is…THE METER MAID OF ATHENS COUNTY. Armed with her whip of justice and a pocket full of violation slips, she’ll fine you when you aren’t looking. She’ll fine your ass off, man. If you’re searching for a strong feminine costume, there isn’t anything more intimidating than the meter maid. *shutters*
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